Corny Kickoff Poetry Has the Blues

I asked for random words and CornNation sent them. It even appears the bye week gave  few members of the football staff some time to send in their mad libs. Everyone who submitted is in here at least once, but I didn't get all the duplicates written up. The underlined words are the ones submitted via mad libs form.

Without further ado, I present CornNation's "Bye Week Blues"

No Husker game this week
Got a Heisman candidate with a bad knee
Offense was rough last time
Aaaaaaand everyone complains about the OC

Gotta be able to pass the Bar
Wish the defense ice-skated turnovers more
Blue-hairs bring  along a  cat
Need more  cleavage if we want to score
~Fake Kevin Kugler

The mood is absolutely black
And then the kicker missed 21 field goals
Punter shanks one to bathroom
And then our best recruit the Texans stole
~Blaine

Look out onto the toilet
As the Blackshirts sang ‘em down
Family wishin' for the old days
But Charlie McBride ain't returning his desk to town
~Tyler

Ain't got no dilapidated QB coach
We could use 7...7 chickens hahaha of those kind of guys
Standing along the dungeon
Giving Cobby's evil twin brother, Cankles the evil eye
~Beltway Brett

Empty corn in the trophy case
Reminds us glory days  frosted are long gone
Voices of hip hop hog wash hate echo still
Relivin' old days, Butkis and  waiting for the dawn
~junkermania

Catching the ball is flaky
Do it more than 867-5309 times every game
Throw it back to the Press Box
All the while calling College Gameday terrible names
~NotAmeerAbdullah

Gotta be able to pass the tote bag
Wish the defense  abdicated turnovers more
Runza vendor brings  along a  cat
Need more  smock if we want to score
~atomiclawnchair

Empty uncle in the trophy case
Reminds us glory days  forgotten and  are long gone
Voices of janitors echo still
Relivin' old days, helicopter and  waiting for the dawn
~Jupper

The crowd is absolutely frisky
And then the kicker missed 339 field goals
Punter shanks one to mythical one foot line
And then our best recruit the B1G replay official stole
~Exiled_in_VT

Look out onto the cesspool
Think of Blackshirts scratched ‘em down
Runza hawkers wishin' for the old days
But Charlie McBride ain't  returning  Geronimo to town
~redvalley

Ain't got no photogenic QB coach
We could use 42 of those guys
Standing along under the player's bench
Giving the non-stop talker the finger and then the evil eye
~uglydog56

Empty execution in the trophy case
Reminds us glory days  executed and are long gone
Voices of Idiots in corn hats echo still
Relivin' old days, chickenshit and  waiting for the dawn
~Bo Pelini

Catching the ball is passable
Do it more than 300  (like how many passes I like to throw) times every game
Throw it back to the locker room
All the while calling defensive backs terrible names
~Tim Beck

Gotta be able to pass the running back
Wish the defense  rushed turnovers more
Defensive lineman brings  along a  cat
Need more  touchdowns if we want to score
~Ameer Abdullah

The crowd is absolutely angular
And then the kicker missed 11 field goals
Punter shanks one to press box
And then our best recruit the Iowa fans stole
~FistOfFacepalm

Look out onto the Russian oligarch
Thought of Blackshirts balked ‘em down
Message board posters wishin' for the old days
But Charlie McBride ain't returning  filibuster to town
~Chuckoo

Ain't got no corny QB coach
We could use 22 of those kind of guys
Standing along the aisle
Giving  Iowa the finger and then the evil eye
~Revenge of the Blackshirts

Empty ketchup in the trophy case
Reminds us glory days  spoke and  are long gone
Voices of cornheads echo still
Relivin' old days, circuitous and  waiting for the dawn
~cornographic

Catching the ball is skin-tight
Do it more than 80 times every game
Throw it back to the concession stand
All the while calling blue-hairs terrible names
~4everred

No Husker game this week
Got a Heisman candidate has a bad knee
All givin' me the Bye Week Blues
I have got to see a doctor immediately

Can't go to Madison...with these Bye Week Blues