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Cobs Of Week 6: Nebraska's Offensive Line, Lou Holtz, UMass and Mike Leach

This week's vote of the biggest derpfest in College Football is submitted for your voting approval.

By Brian Towle
We feel your pain kid
We feel your pain kid
James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

Each week, Husker Mike normally pulls up the worst in College Football and gives you a reason to vote for it. Since he's taking care of some stuff today, I'm going to be the man who hands out this week's Cobs.

At first, I had a hard time finding things that could rival Brady Hoke and Michigan. However, with time to reflect and a perusal of college football's worst, I think I found some choice candidates. Let's make a decision on what sucked the worst shall we?

Nebraska's Offensive Line

There's pretty much no sugar-coating this performance. Let's face some facts on this:

- 47 yards rushing on 37 attempts, which breaks down to a liquidy 1.3 yards per attempt
- Alex Lewis with at least three holding calls by my count
- Mark Pelini having so many issues with the silent/clap count and snapping the ball when Tommy Armstrong wasn't expecting it so much, you would think he had action on Sparty
- Five sacks given up, a year high
- Something else.. .can't put a whisper on it.... oh yea

#Cottoning

ESPN "Personality" Lou Holtz

Now, we had a healthy discussion among the CN Staff when Lou Holtz showed something right here at halftime of the 11am games on ESPN:

Now, here's the deal with this. At its most innocent, Holtz is just a dumbass that can't or won't realize that he messed up that name. At its worse, however, Holtz is borderline offensive to someone that practices the Islamic religion. We're honestly not sure if Holtz meant it or not, but the fact that he said this about a Heisman Trophy contender, one who would be participating in a game being promoted by his employer, not once but TWICE means it's beyond time to put him in the retirement house in Destin and give him some shuffleboard gear to use. But no, sufferin' succotash will just keep pulling checks from the WWL as he's doing Catholic speeches across America.

UMass Football

I do sympathize with Minutemen Football, as they are busting their ass to become somewhat relevant in the FBS. I mean, the program did do pretty well in FCS play, but it just hasn't translated to success in MACtion. But yesterday was probably the lowest point of the program's history on Saturday.

UMass, who went into the game 0-5, went head to head with fellow 0-5 Miami of Ohio. Mark Whipple's crew scored 41 in the first half to take a 41-21 lead into intermission. And then it happened.....

Yes, that's right. UMass pulled a UMass and let the Redhawks score 21-0 in the second half to pull out the win.

Mark Whipple probably isn't digging this right now.

Cal's Passing Defense

Cal's DC Art Kaufman is a well-traveled man. He was with Ole Miss for a spell in the 80's and mid-90's and has become a journeyman DC, of sorts, including three different DC jobs in the last three seasons.

Incredibly, he must have never seen something like Mike Leach's offense at any of those stops (or maybe he just forgot). Washington State QB Connor Halliday went off for a NCAA RECORD 734 PASSING YARDS on the Golden Bears late Saturday night. (To be fair to Kaufman, DB's coach Greg Burns just did get to Berkley too from UMass and you saw their issues up above.)

Halliday went 49/70 for 734 yards and six TD's, which could have been bigger had Washington State not had twelve penalties as well. However, we would be amiss if we didn't mention our final Cob nominee which would be....

Washington State

For having 812 yards of total offense, the Cougars get a special nod as well for LOSING A GAME WHERE THEIR QB SET A NCAA RECORD FOR PASSING. How do you do that? Well...

Wazzu allowed not one, but TWO KICKOFF RETURNS for touchdowns in the third quarter alone. And let's not forget that Mike Leach's gang gave up the lead three times in the second half. For all the sound and fury of that offensive production, the seven point output in the fourth quarter signified a whole lot of nothing at the end of the game.

Edited at 12:15pm ET for grammatical, syntax and clarity errors.

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