Nebraska Finds Surprise Line Recruit At Lexington Walmart

A big #BOOM came today from Nebraska's defensive line coach Rick Smackalickinski as he announced finding a new prized lineman recruit straight out of Lexington, Nebraska's Walmart.

The Husker defensive line coach discovered the young man named Nickels Cope by chance when he was shopping for pickles as a recruiting trip snack and accidentally knocked one of the jars off a shelf. Before the coach could react, Cope caught the jar and returned it to it's former position on the shelf.

"He moved about 15 feet in less than a little more than a second, used his hands well, and didn't even appear winded or anything. It was amazing."

Smackalickinski continued to walk around the store knocking things off shelves. Cope continued to follow him, and each time exhibited the same behavior. At one point, multiple jars were falling and Cope not only caught them but maneuvered around a large middle-aged woman and her three children. Cope not only did not bump them, but lifted the woman in air with one hand while catching and returning the jar to the shelf with the other.

"I nearly passed out. I've never needed nor used an inhaler, but went and bought one right then."

There is concern that Cope may not make it on campus this fall due to academic issues as he scored an 8 on his initial ACT score "probably due to living and being raised at the Walmart as a shelf stocker" said Smackalickinski.

"While he can read box labels and ingredients, his reading comprehension is poor. The hope is the problem can be fixed with a year at a community college and hardcore mental health counseling."

Still, Smackalickinski is convinced of Cope's star power. "If he were actually rated by a service, he'd be a six or seven star athlete easily. If he were in a SEC state, he'd probably be a ten star as crazy as that sounds."

Nickels Cope - His mind might be mentally challenged, but his body has the strength of a grizzly bear and the reflexes of a cat.

Photo by Mauro Bondi.

Also at issue is Cope's NCAA eligibility because of playing in the Walmart Football League. Little is known about the league as it features only players from Walmart employees, but the possibility exists that the league could be ruled as semi-professional.

Smackalickinski finished the interview by stating, "Having been here once before I was aware that there were some very large people at Walmart, but I was not aware of any that possessed a touch of athleticism. I will certainly be visiting more and I'm sure the other Husker coaches will as well. Walmart could be a gold mine."