Predictions: Southern Miss Week

Mike: OK, no Colorado or Kentucky games this week.

Nathaniel: Wyoming just scored again.

Paul: Wisconsin just scored again too. We gotta stop playing W schools.

Aaron: William & Mary almost beat West Virginia last week.

Ty: I was gawdawful last week. We probably shouldn’t allow the volleyball writer to pick football games.

Jon: Is someone keeping track? Because the entire lot of us picked Colorado to lose last week, and our predictions on the Wyoming game, man, talk about drinking the koolaid. We know the coaches only give rosy projections about the team, but we’re still caught up in it.

Mister Mike: I could keep track. Do I get to give away the set of Corn Nation Steak Knives and the tote bag to the winner?

David: Ty, they let the hoops writer pick games, so they have to let you in.

Salt Creek: I have no idea how poorly I did. BUT I HAVE INTERNET NOW. Of course, this Saturday I’m going tailgating on campus so...yeah.

James: I’m still upset at myself for picking Kentucky. I’m still amazingly amused by Kentucky losing to Western Kentucky.

Brian: YOU were mad? How do you think I feel? Then again, we all drank the Colorado kool aid too.

Andy: My Wyoming hangover subsided around Wednesday. Not from the booze, but from the abuse to my soul.

Cobby: DO I GET THE TROPHY YET? CAN I BORROW IT TO DRINK OUT OF? I BROKE MY JOHNNY RODGERS COMMEMORATIVE MUG WHILE HAVING SOME SORT OF FIT. SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART, THAT MUG. BOUGHT IT OFF JOHNNY ON A STREET CORNER ON CAMPUS LATE ONE NIGHT WHILE HE WAS SELLING THOSE MUGS, PICTURES OF HIMSELF DOING YARDWORK AND OTHER PEOPLE’S CAR ANTENNAS. ALWAYS QUITE THE ENTREPRENEUR, THAT FELLOW.

Cincinnati (-8) at Illinois

Nathaniel: Cincy continues the beatdown on weak B1G teams except this will be closer

Bearcats 38 Illini 24

Paul: Cincy

Aaron: The outcome of this game should help us figure out the bottom of the Big Ten power rankings. I still can’t believe that we scheduled Cincinnati as our "Big" non-conference game in 2020 and 2025. We could have at least played them around thanksgiving. Maybe by then they will be in the ACC or Big XII and it will seem like a bigger game. Cincinnati 37, Illinois 13

Ty: Cincinnati by a touchdown.

James: Cincinnati wins big. So much for all the B1G going 12-0 this week.

Jon: Cincinnati smashed Purdue last week, while Illinois had a somewhat tough time with Southern Illinois. Mean anything? No. Illinois isn’t as bad as the scoreboard showed, and Cincy isn’t as good. I’ll take Illinois at home in an upset. Illinois 28, Cincinnati 27

Mister Mike: Bearcats FTW…

(thanks EpicHouston)

David: This game’s in Champaign, right? I think Scheelhaase has another big game and the Illini pull it out late. 31-24.

Salt Creek: The question isn’t, can Illinois win (that’s a NO). The question is whether Illinois keeps things respectable. I think they do.

Cobby: CHAMPAIGN...OK I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. CINCY 46 TINY BUBBLES 29

Husker Mike: The Salukis had the ball at the Illinois 3 yard line when time expired last week...trailing by eight. This is not going to be pretty. Cincy 35, Illini 10

Andy K: I’ve always had a soft spot for Scheelhaase, always thought he was one crazy sonofabitch before he got a little beat down by having to learn a new scheme each season. I say the Illini cover in a shootout. Cincy 45 Illini 42

Brian: I wouldn’t mind saying Cincy in this game, but the only thing that bothers me is that Tommy Tuberville is going to look good with Butch Jones’ players.That being said, Tim Beckman isn’t really gonna solicit much more of a secure feeling. Expect a lot of points, but I will take the Bearcats in this one.

Notre Dame (+3.5) at Michigan

Nathaniel: The Irish don’t have the imaginary girlfriend of Manti Te’o to lead them into dreamland this season Michigan 24 Notre Dame 23

Paul: Michigan

Aaron: It’s hard to say just how good a team is after one game. I don’t think the Irish will have a repeat of their magical season from last year, but I do think they can beat Michigan. Brady Hoke loses his first home game this year. Notre Dame 28, Michigan 21

Ty: Michigan looked really good last week. Notre Dame has been overhyped, save last year. I’ll give the nod to Michigan in this "non-rivalry" game.

James: I like Michigan winning at home under the lights. I don’t really want to root for either team, but I’m happy to root for the B1G.

Jon: You’ve got a rare night game at Michigan. Tight game, and I’ll take home field and a fired up Wolverine crowd over all the rivalry talk. Michigan 28, Notre Dame 24

Mister Mike: Meeechigan. Just cause, you know, I don’t like the Domers and neither does Jesus. Wolvies 27 Domers 23

David: Michigan hasn’t lost a home game under Brady Hoke. After Saturday, they still won’t. Michigan, big. 31-10.

Cobby: THEM’S THE BASTARDS WHAT SPIT AT ERIC CROUCH IN OT YEARS BACK. I SEND A SPIGOT-FULL OF MAIZE-FLAVORED PISS AT EVERY ONE A THOSE GOLDEN HATS!!! MICHY 31 DOMERS 7

Salt Creek: Ah, Notre Dame. The Big Ten’s fake girlfriend. The question is which team doesn’t live up to their hype this year? For me, it’s always Notre Dame. Michigan on a late TD drive. Notre Dame immediately cancels all of their rivalries with teams with athletic budgets than can afford to feed their athletes something better than ramen three days a week.

Husker Mike: Weasels are going to roll all over the Domers. David has the right idea. 34-13.

Andy K: Fuck Notre Dame. Now. Forever. Ignored raping, telling cops not to mess with Notre Dame football and imaginary girlfriends are in their rearview. What will they sweep under the rug this year? I’m going with HGH abuse. Not that it will show in this game. Fighting Hokes 20 Tie One For The Gipper 9

Brian: Someone is going against Michigan at home under the lights? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAYOUFOOLS. Wolverines.

Florida (-3) at Miami-Florida

Nathaniel: Gator offense will continue to struggle but the defense will hold Miami off just enough

Tebow U 28 Thug U 27

Paul: The model favors Miami by a large margin.

Aaron: I think Miami will sneak up on people this year and this is a showcase game for them. Miami 28, Florida 24

Ty: Miami

James: Miami pulls it off. I like Golden as a coach. I think he’s got Miami headed in the right direction. This game proves it.

Jon: These are two teams that should be playing every year because of the hate between them. I want to pick Florida, but I don’t trust their offense as much as I do Miami’s. Hurricanes 31, Gators 30

Mister Mike: While the Gators offense is running about as well as Nebraska’s defense right now, I’m still going to take them in this game. They should let the Gators hang around long enough to figure enough shit out on offense to score some points. Gators 27 Miami 20

Cobby: I WAS WATCHING THAT 30 FOR 30 THING ON "THE U" AND THAT TOOK ME TO A HAPPY PLACE. THEY MAY HAVE HANDED US OUR ASSES A FEW TIMES BACK IN THE DAY, BUT LUTHER CAMPBELL STILL LET ME DO 8-BALLS OFF HIS BACKUP SINGERS TITS EVEN AFTER SCHLESINGER CLOSED THE DEAL. NUTHIN’ BUT LOVE, BROTHER. MIAMI 17 GATORS 14

David: Looking like it could be a wet weekend in Miami. Gators struggle to get any offense going. Looking for a low scoring bud wrestling session. Miami wins 13-12.

Salt Creek: Talk about underwhelming teams. Florida struggled against Toledo. Miami had the week off. What’s that? They played Carl? Like I said. Took the week off. Florida by a field goal. SEC chants to follow.

Husker Mike: This is one of those games where I really couldn't care less if the stadium were to be destroyed at halftime, taking both fan bases with it. Of course, that would end the last chance for jorts to ever become fashionable again. So what if the destruction holds off until after the game? Meh. How about Gators 31, Canes 24.

Andy K: I call match-ups like these, Al-Qaeda games. When teams and fan bases like this are crammed in one place, I pull for a terrorist attack and give the points. Some say that’s in bad taste. I agree and ask them what their point is. Miami 27 Florida 21

Brian: Interesting game here, Florida is the ranked "fave", but Miami has a lot of stroke going into this game. I wonder if Florida’s offense has enough firepower to muster something in this one. I do think Miami has the better team and the home field advaHAHAHAWTF EVER. Canes in this one.

South Carolina (+3) at Georgia

Nathaniel: Georgia drops to 0-2 which leads to more fans calling in and crying on radio shows.

‘Cocks 31 ‘Dogs 27

Paul: I love it when SC is good. It enables the best innuendos in sports. 'Cocks pound the Dawgs.

Aaron: South Carolina was very ho hum in week one. Georgia has something to prove. Clowney’s Heisman bid ends this weekend. Bulldogs 35, Roosters 21

Ty: Clowney’s good, and will look better than last weekend, but Georgia can’t afford to start 0-2, and needs the SEC win. Dawgs.

James: Mark Richt’s seat will be very hot after South Carolina takes care of business here. This is going to be a really fun game though.

Jon: This is a "back against the wall" kind of game for Georgia and it’s at home - the best reasons to pick Georgia. You pick South Carolina because it looks like Steve Spurrier has built a consistent winner, top program, and while they didn’t look at that great against North Carolina, they went conservative after taking a decent lead. Steve Spurrier or Mark Richt? Aaron McMurray or Javedeon Clowney? Gurshall or Mike Davis. I’m going with SC over Georgia. South Carolina 34, Georgia 28

Mister Mike: The OBC’s Cocks over the Fighting Richts, 34 - 27

David: Georgia should be desperate after the post-game-radio-show-meltdown inducing disappointment in Clemson last week. This has shootout potential written all over it, but I don’t think we quite get to that. If this weeks game is as entertaining as last weeks Clemson/UGA game, we’ll all be in for a treat. UGA pulls it out in the end. 31-21.

COBBY: I WANT MY OWN JADEVEON CLOWNEY. JUST TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE WHO REALLY PISS ME OFF. I’M PRETTY SURE HE COULD MAKE THAT HAPPEN. SC 24 UGA 19

Salt Creek: I’m going to be on campus but likely won’t make it to the game. (No tickets.) I’m taking the DAWGS in a shocker, 2-OT special event.

Husker Mike: Georgia has something to prove after last weekend. Dawgs 35, Cocks 31

Andy: I’m still recovering from Clemson & am not ready to deal with Spurrier Week at all. Dawgs 30 Cock Knockers 27

Brian: LOVE games like this, where it’s early but the SEC East is going to get it’s Atlanta front runner. Can you imagine the heat Richt will catch if he starts 0-2 and losing the tie breaker to Spurrier? Holy smokes… I don’t think SC is that good on the road, so I’m going to give my pick to Aaron Murray and the Dogs this week. AND SOMEONE DO SALT A SOLID AND GIVE HIM A TICKET YOU DON’T NEED OR WANT.

Syracuse (+10.5) at Northwestern

Nathaniel: In the battle of schools with famous journalism programs, Northwestern gets in the big story before the deadline. Rich Eisen & Darren Rovell 30 Marv Albert & Bob Costas 17

Paul: Northwestern rolls

Aaron: Northwestern is kinda banged up, but they should have enough to stop Syracuse. Wildcats 31, Orange 21

Ty: Welp, I’ll stop underestimating the ‘Cats. Northwestern easily covers.

James: Northwestern wins and covers, but only by a few points.

Cobby: I PASSED OUT IN HAPPY VALLEY ONCE & WOKE UP IN CHICAGO. AS IT TURNED OUT, MUCH WORSE THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN IN STORE IN HAPPY VALLEY WHICH IS POPULATED BY HILLBILLIES WITH DEATH STARES AND OUTRIGHT PERVERTS. I WAS MUCH SAFER ASLEEP IN A CHICAGO ALLEY. OH YEAH, THOUGHTS ON NORTHWESTERN VS. SYRACUSE….(weak fart). THERE YOU HAVE IT, YOU FUCKING SAVAGES. NW 35 THE CUSE 17

Jon: Northwestern should take this. I think we’re all just going with the spreads, anyway, aren’t we? Wildcats have more weapons. Northwestern 34, Syracuse 21

Salt Creek: Who’s #1? NORTHWESTERN’S #1.

David: Well, Syracuse, on paper, should be better than Cal and Colter looks to be ok, good news for the Cats. Syracuse takes them to the wire, but the Cats are too much in the end. 24-20.

Mister Mike: Even with the injuries, Fitz will have these guys ready. Purple over Orange, 38 - 27

Husker Mike: Not taking the spreads...just saying Northwestern is just plain better. NW 28, Q’s 14

Andy K: This was close as hell last year, right? And, as seen last year, teams on neutral fields have better home field advantages than the Cats. Cuse covers - The Other NU 27 Orange 22.

Brian: If you had told me that Venric Mark and Kain Colter were going to miss this game before the year started, I would have said Syracuse (who, in all actuality, played decent against Penn State). That being said, last week’s offense after those 2 were dinged up makes me feel better about a NW selection.

Southern Miss (+28.5) at Nebraska

Nathaniel: Why is the spread so high? Nebraska should improve after last week’s debacle but the defense still has a lot of work to do. Huskers 48 Golden Eagles 24

Paul: on paper this should be 66-13 Nebraska. Unfortunately it's actually in Memorial Stadium on Tom Osborne field, where opponents are typically better than on paper. Nebraska wins going away, but still leaves many doubts.

Aaron: Game of the week. Southern Miss had 23 net yards rushing. Their quarterback had 377 yards passing. Until they can prove it against a good offense, I think the blackshirts will continue to give up big yardage and, thus, points. Southern Miss will get their points, but not enough to beat Nebraska. Huskers 45, Eagles 28

Ty: I’m still not convinced that the team we saw last weekend is really us. I think kinks are getting worked out, and we’re saving something for UCLA. I’m also counting on Jr and Sr leadership to step up the intensity this weekend. Huskers score 45+ and hold the Eagles under 25.

James: This is Nebraska’s bounce back week. Southern Miss doesn’t have a running game to speak of, and while Nebraska’s porous defense will make their running game look better than it did against Texas State (can’t believe I just typed that), the Huskers D will seem to be much improved. The offense rolls and it’s a big win. An easy layup before UCLA next week.

Mister Mike: Interesting game for sure. Yah...I said that. Interesting in the fact that we’re facing another HUNH pass-happy spread offense, so that alone makes my sphincter pucker. Bridgford is nowhere near as mobile as Smith was, but he can still sling it pretty good. My guess is that Monken is locked in his office, studying exactly what Wyoming did like a teenager studies amatuer porn. Unfortunately for Monken, Southern Miss hasn’t shown they can run (Ironic, considering that many people said Wyoming couldn’t run either) but like, they really can’t run man. This should allow the defense to clamp down on the receivers and (hopefully) bring more pressure on Bridgford. We’ll see. My guess is that we’ll score 40+ and we’ll hold them under 30, but I think they’ll still roll up some significant yardage on us. Probably around 450 or so. Is that really improvement against a team that lost to Texas State? We’ll win handily, but I expect that folks will still be walking away from this one scratching their heads about our defense. I’d take the over in this game if you’re the betting type, but I wouldn’t touch the spread.

Jon: I remain more disappointed in last week’s offense than the defense. I expect them to make up for it this week. Nebraska 58, Southern Miss 31

Cobby: THIS IS THE WEEK. SOME OF THOSE OLD SALTS TEARING TICKETS HAVE SOME SERIOUS VEIN-BLOWN NOSES. THE KIND THAT ONLY A BOOZER OF EXPERIENCE AND SURRENDER GROWS FROM DRINKING BROWN STUFF OFF THE LOWER SHELVES. I’M ROLLING THE DICE THAT A FIFTH OF OLD CROW IS GOING TO GET ME INSIDE TOMORROW. AND THEN? IT. IS. ON. YOU HEAR ME, STATE PATROL? ON.

HUSKERS 97 MISSISSIPPI LEG HOUNDS 10

Salt Creek: So much verbiage. I watched a half of Nebraska-Wyoming. I saw enough to be convinced that 85% of the defense’s issues are communications and jitters. Nebraska takes this one going away. USM scores points in the fourth quarter, but unlike Wyoming, they’re not coming back to win. And I think the Nebraska D holds them under 250 yards total.

David: Offense comes out and plays with the purpose they lacked last week, the defense looks better, still gives up some big plays, but last week will prove valuable for the young kids to get that first game out of the way. Southern Miss betters 300 yards of offense, but struggles to score. We finally get a glimpse of a QB not named Martinez in mop up time. 42-17.

Husker Mike: Nebraska’s problems against Wisconsin were not Nebraska’s problems against Wyoming. Let’s put that simplistic notion aside. I think Randy Gregory is going to get unleashed this week, and start wreaking havoc. Here comes the homer pick: Huskers 45, USM 13

Andy K: Paul basically expressed my thoughts by starting out his with the phrase "On paper…". This was the red flag game last year in retrospect, as they moved the ball on us at times. And basically were about the shittiest team in the country. So shitty, they bounced their coach after one year. That’s pretty shitty. So, I’ll say NU 45 Southern Miss 17, but if they have more than two stretches where they are able to roll a little, I’m gonna be pretty doom & gloom waiting for Hundley to torture us. But I really hope Salt is right.

Brian: I think the offense cranks it up, but at the same time, the D will have SOME issues here still. The fans want blood all over the field, but the D isn’t simply going to do that. Todd Monken did wonders with Oklahoma State and a SR Quarterback to come within one blown FG call in Ames of going to play for a national championship in 2011. That offense is going to move the ball and score. If the D can create close to as many turnovers as Southern Miss had against Texas State, Nebraska will eventually be fine. It’s going to be another long, hot, stressful game in Memorial Stadium. Nebraska will win, no one will really feel better about themselves, and we will start prepping the Milk Bone Underwear for the dog eat dog week starting on Monday known as UCLA week.