Predictions: Bye Week #1 Of 2013

Mike:  So how is everybody going to deal with the bye week?  Curl up in a fetal position?

Andy: Well, I’ve got my #2 team in a huge tilt this weekend against LSU, so that’ll ease the withdrawals somewhat, if not the craving for a few shots of Witty & Charming on the rocks.

Cobby: WELL, I PLANNED TO SIT BACK ON THE VERANDA WITH SOME PROUST AND A LOVELY PORT I PICKED UP WHILST ON TRAVEL IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? BYE WEEK, SCHMYE WEEK!! I’M GOING TO BET MORE MONEY THAN I COULD EVER GET MY HANDS ON IN THREE MONTHS, THEN DROWN MY LIVER IN BUSCH LITE & OLD GRANDDAD TILL SUNDAY NITE!!

James: I’m probably going to watch a lot of college football and not be stressed out about having to watch the Blackshirts. I also will enjoy that Nebraska isn’t taking any focus away from any other games… because I’m really bad about watching game simultaneous with the Husker games.

Ty: I’m going to nest in front of the DirecTV and hope to find a game worth watching, and hope that Texas resumes their slide.

Salt Creek: I’m going to be tailgating all day. WOOO GO DAWGS. (Andy: Sooooo jealous)

David: I’ll be helping out here. If you’re in Lincoln on Sunday, you should stop by.

Husker Mike: I’m doing the in-laws thing and keeping everybody happy.

Jon: I need to get out fishing once more before it’s time to put the boat away, but that’s what NFL Sunday is for. Still, a chance to watch other games without worrying about us.

Brian: No Nebraska football, plus nothing at ATT Stadium. And that’s fine, because not only can I watch other games, the Rangers will either make me happy or break my heart.

Iowa (-1) at Minnesota

Ty: Iowa’s favored?  Nope, I got the Golden Gophers by better than a TD.

James: This is interesting, to surprising Big Ten teams. I like Minnesota here, but Iowa may finally make people realize they aren’t quite as bad as they have been.

Salt Creek: The annual reminder of what happens when a custody battle goes horribly, horribly wrong. Whatever judge decided on shared custody should be out of a job. Speaking of, it’s time for Floyd to go live in Minnesota. Gophers by a nice margin.

Cobby: AH, FLOYD OF ROSEDALE TIME. AND WHO AMONG US, AT LEAST ONCE, DIDN’T TAKE KATY PERRY HOME FROM CHESTERFIELD’S ONLY TO WAKE UP NEXT TO GOOD OLD FLOYD’S TWIN SISTER? AND THEN HAVE TO NINJA QUIETLY OUT OF HER APARTMENT WHILE SMELLING OF ROT AND COVERED IN EVERY BODILY FLUID IMAGINABLE? NO? OK, IT WAS JUST ME I GUESS!! SCREW ALL OF YOU!!! IOWA 32 MINNY 29

Andy: Minnesota has basically played a Kansas St. schedule, but it hasn’t been accompanied by the usual horrifying upset to a lower division school. Iowa has had a couple of games that may or may not prove to count as more than scrimmages. Minnesota has raced out to quick starts against nobodies in previous years then collapsed. Iowa’s showing signs of life. Even though many of their fans are disease-riddled vermin, Iowa 27 Minnesota 20

Aaron: Iowa is surprisingly playing good special teams and defense. Minnesota seems too one-dimensional right now (75% of their plays they have run are rushing plays). I’ll pull for Minnesota, but I think the Hawkeyes take Floyd back to Iowa City. Iowa 24, Minnesota 17

David: I like the Gophs in this one.  You need more than that?  Ummm, we’ll, I’ve heard TCF Bank Stadium is pretty neat.  31-17 Minnesota.

Husker Mike: I think some people are putting too much stock in Iowa’s beatdown of a MAC team last week.  Floyd’s coming home, Squawks…  Gophers 34, Squawkeyes 28

Jon: Minnesota backup quarterback Mitch Leidner looked pretty decent running the ball last week against San Jose State, while Iowa’s Mark Weisman has been pounding out the yardage. Whomever wins makes the big plays. I’ll take Minnesota at home. Gophers 24, Iowa 23

Nathaniel: Iowa has gotten surprisingly better the past couple weeks and it’s enough to convince me they can pull out the win. Iowa 38 Minnesota 34

Mister Mike: Iowa’s offense seems to have found some life, in spite of Greg Davis running it.  This is a "pick-em" game, so I’ll take the Squawks by a touch.  Iowa 27 Minny 20.

Paul: I think Minnesota is better than most give it credit for.  As much as I hate to say it, Rodents win 27-21.

Brian: Minny plays pretty well lately at TCF. Iowa doesn’t seem to do well on the road. And honestly, it basically being a pick em is surprising. I think Minnesota wins this one, can’t see the Hawkeye offense doing well this week.

Wisconsin (+7) at Ohio State

Ty: OSU all the way.

James: I think this game is going to be a lot closer than people think. Wisconsin is still pretty strong, and Ohio State has had some issues. Braxton is back, but this is a big pressure situation. I wouldn’t touch this gambling line either way, I like Ohio State to win, but I think it’ll be a good one.

Salt Creek: The ABC game of the week...and it’s not even getting Gameday. Again. Don’t understand why ESPN insists on advertising games on other networks, but whatever. ANYWAYS, back to sports. I’m taking the Buckeyes here but I would NOT be shocked to see Wisconsin break college football with a win.

Cobby: WALK THE STREETS OF MADISON ON A WARM DAY AND YOU WILL SEE SMALL T-SHIRTS HOLDING BREATHTAKING MOUNDS OF BACK FAT WITNESSED NOWHERE ELSE ON THIS EARTH, SAVE A TOKYO SUMO CLUB’S BATHHOUSE. (*SHUDDER*) BUCKEYES 38 BADGERS 24

Andy: Wisconsin looking tough against no one in particular has some people thinking upset on the basis of Ohio St.’s legendarily stink-ridden non-conference schedule. However, the Badgers can’t expect to win by just pounding the ball. That means Joel Stave has to get involved. His most memorable highlight is dropping the ball on the ground. OSU 31 Wiscy 17

Aaron: Ohio State finally plays a school that knows something about defense. The Badgers will give Urban his first loss as the Buckeye’s coach and they will have to hope Wisconsin finds a way to lose 2 more times this year in order to play in the B1G title game. Wisconsin 35, Ohio State 24

David: First test for the young Buckeye d-line.  I think Wisconsin has a lot of success with their effective running game.  I think Wisconsin wears them down a bit and pulls the upset. 24-21, Wisky.

Husker Mike: At least Wisconsin has played somebody with a pulse (Arizona State).  At the very least, take the points, but I’m going for the outright Badger win.  Bucky 27, Bucknuts 23

Jon: This is a huge game if you consider national title implications. The team that loses is out, based on the Big Ten’s lousy reputation. I’ll take Ohio State because of the quarterbacks and their ability to make big plays. You know the Buckeyes will load the box and force Wisconsin to throw and I don’t have a lot of faith in the Badger passing game. Who does? Ohio State 27, Wisconsin 23

Nathaniel: Might be Braxton Miller’s first game back so the Buckeyes could get off to a slow start. Wisconsin is heavily reliant on the run game so it will be a big test for the Ohio State D-Line. II have a feeling if Guiton starts O-HI-O will win by a more comfortable margin. Buckeyes 27 Bucky 21

Mister Mike: Although Wiscy is playing better at this point than I thought they would, they still haven’t faced a team with as much talent and athleticism as tOSU.  Also, Stave is barely serviceable as a QB.  They don’t push the ball downfield enough to threaten the secondary, so I would expect a long day for their oligarchy of RBs.  tOSU rolls in this one.  OSU: 42, Wiscy 24.

Paul: tOSU in a laugher.  34-20.

Brian: Wisconsin is still the team that lost to ASU with a big ass brainfart. How can they go into the horseshoe with Urban’s offense and motivation and pull this off? They can’t. Buckeyes.

Oklahoma (-3.5) at Notre Dame

Ty: Huh.  Interesting that OU has been largely off the radar screens this season.  Nonetheless, the AP has them at 14 in the country, and I have them as big winners on Saturday.

James: Oklahoma big time. Let’s see if that new rushing attack is for real.

Salt Creek: Oklahoma has had a bit of a quiet (and somewhat rough) start to the fall. But they’re a better team than the Domers this fall. Give me a BOOMER SOONER by two TDs.

Cobby: BARRY SWITZER & I SPLIT A LIMO FOR A 3 -DAY SUPER BOWL WEEKEND BACK IN 1989 IN MIAMI. SUNDAY MORNING, HE LOOKED AT ME WITH BLOODSHOT EYES & CREAM GRAVY ON HIS CHIN AND SAID, "I CAN’T KEEP THIS UP. I HAVEN’T SHIT IN TWO DAYS & I NEED A DAMN NAP!" I SLAPPED HIM IN THE EAR & YELLED, "DON’T QUIT ON ME NOW, YOU SONOFABITCH!!!!" GOD LOVE HIM, HE DID A BOILERMAKER & GOT BACK IN THE GAME. OKIES 20 DOMERS 10

Andy: Notre Dame seems as potent as a weak beer fart, but I have a couple of worries. Oklahoma didn’t show up for this one at home last year - what happens on the road? It could be close at the end and history has shown that referees behave rather oddly late in close games in South Bend. Still….OU 24 ND 14

Aaron: I have no faith in the Irish this weekend. OU 31, ND 21

David: Notre Dame defense rises to the occasion.  Their offense does not, however.  OU squeeks one out 28-27.

Husker Mike: Completely unimpressed by the Domers this season. Of course, the Sooners haven’t done much either.  Until this week, of course.  It’s payback time.  Sooners 35, Irish 13

Jon: Oklahoma by two touchdowns. Sooners 31, Irish 17

Nathaniel: The Irish won’t get lucky again this year.  Their defense is solid but can they handle the Belldozer and the offense has been average so far this season.  Sooners 21 Irish 17

Mister Mike: Boomer Sooner in this one.  Even Touchdown Jesus says so.  Sooners 34 Irish 17

Paul: Irish finally get their act together.  31-28 Domers.

Brian: I believe in Oklahoma because that Defense is way better than it was last year. Not sold on the offense, but if you can shut down ND’s offense, you got a chance. Sooners win, and set up their run through the B12 by beating TCU and Texas in back to back weeks.

Texas A&M (-6) at Arkansas

Ty: Is the #karma joke getting old yet?  Yes?  Okay, time to bring it back, then.  Johnny Football and the Aggies by double the spread.

James: I like Aggies BIG here. This is pissed-off-after-losing to Bama last week sort of run. And Arkansas isn’t six points within aTm either. I like Aggies big.

Salt Creek: Yeah, Biels isn’t fixing his luck here. Too many questions at Arky and like James says, Manziel is going to be playing out of his mind. Regardless of the outcome, someone will be upset and there will be a Twitter war. I’m guessing Biels will tweet Manziel about being a grown-up or something. And then Wisconsin fans will message #HYPOCRITE or something.

Cobby: JUST ONE TIME...ONE TIME!!!...I WANT THE ABC CAMERAS TO CATCH ONE OF THOSE aTm JUGHEADS ROUNDING 3RD BASE WRIST DEEP IN THE WAISTBAND OF HIS GIRLFRIEND’S WRANGLERS WHILE PLANTING ONE OF THOSE KISSES ON THE GIRL. I HONESTLY THINK I’D TURN MYSELF INTO A BOWL OF JIFFY POP, I’D LAUGH SO HARD. HEH HEH...I SAID "HARD". AGGIES 48 PIGS 27

Andy: The more defiant JF gets while loading up those Playstation numbers, the more I love the guy. Even as ESPN talking heads say things like, "Well, the Alabama loss has severely hurt his chances for the Heisman," (huh????) he just keeps rewriting the SEC & national record books. This game? Arkansas is an utter skidmark. aTm 44 Hogs 28

Aaron: A&M Nebraska football with Johnny Football as quarterback. Their defense is awful and without Number 5 scoring 6 TD’s a game, they probably are a .500 team.  A&M 56, Hogs 35

David: Arkansas isn’t ready for a team like this.  Manziel has a field day.  A&M 41-21.

Husker Mike: Arkansas isn’t ready for much of anything, to tell you the truth.  But the piggies will be mad this week.  Look for a high scoring affair:  Ags 49, Hawgs 31

Jon: Score at will, Aggies. Texas A&M 63, Arkansas 24

Nathaniel: Arkansas’s QB is terrible. A&M’s QB is really good. Aggies 55; Razorbacks 17

Mister Mike: Blood.  There will be a lot of it.  A&M 59, Arkansas 20.  How’s that for #karma?

Paul: Laugher #2 this week.  Aggies 45 Hogs 17.

Brian: As goes TAMU’s D, so go the Aggies, cause the points will be there with Manziel. Arkansas’s offense….. no. Sorry. The Aggie Battle Hymn sings on. HULLABALOO CANECK CANECK.

LSU (+3) at Georgia

Ty: While Salt will be picking UGA like he works there or something, I’ll take LSU.  Even though the Dawgs are looking good, LSU will be looking to get an early signature win to get themselves in the SEC discussion.

James: I think LSU is going to be one of the stronger SEC teams this year. Might be the thing that gets Mark Richt on the hot seat again with loss number 2 in September.

Salt Creek: There won’t be any hot seat for Richt, I can assure you of that. They love Richt down here. (But if they fire him, dump Pelini and give the guy whatever it takes.) It’s Bobo that usually gets all the heat. ANYWAYS, I’m taking the Dawgs here. Zach Mettenberger’s attention will be on his reception in Athens, not his game. And Dawgs fans will be ready to rain down hell. But this is going to be a helluva game. LSU is really good. The Dawgs are really young. Les Miles. Pandemonium will be the order of the day, that’s for sure.

(Oh, and I’m starting to think it may be a rematch between LSU and UGA in Atlanta. LSU may be better than Alabama.)

Cobby: THE GEORGIA STATE PATROL ALREADY HAS ROADBLOCKS TO THE SOUTHWEST. IT’S GOING TO BE FULL CAVITY SEARCHES FOR THOSE CAJUN FREAKS BECAUSE GOD KNOWS WHAT THEY’LL TRY TO BRING ACROSS STATE LINES. THEY’VE BEEN KNOWN TO SELL SWAMP GIN & FAMILY MEMBERS FOR TICKETS. GIVE THEM A WIDE BERTH. TIGERS 38 DAWGS 34

Andy: My uncle passed away a few months ago and bigger Georgia fan may never be found. I’ll be thinking of the side by side photos he had shaking hands with Vince Dooley in one and Erk Russell in the other. Enough said. UGA 37 LSU 30

Aaron: LSU lost so much to the NFL draft last year. I think we start to see it catch up with them in this game. Another chink is exposed in the SEC armor. UGA 42, LSU 21

David: I like both of these teams.  If UGA wants to get to the next level, they need to win this one.  I think the Mad Hatter makes an appearance in this one.  LSU 23-22.

Husker Mike: Game of the day obviously…  Give me Georgia 28-24.

Jon: I have a hard time picking Georgia, although the home crowd will make a difference to a young team. What the hell, it seems no one is keeping track this year. I like Mike’s score. Georgia 28-24.

Nathaniel: LSU hasn’t really been tested yet this year and Georgia has already played two solid opponents in Clemson and South Carolina.  Plus the fact that the game is in Athens makes me wanna lean towards Georgia in this one. Georgia 35 LSU 24

Mister Mike: Game of the day, obviously.  LSU’s offense isn’t nearly as potent as Clemson’s and Georgia seems to have found some mojo after the loss to Dabo.  Dawgs to cover here.  Georgia 28 LSU 20.

Paul: Dawgs 28, Tigers 20

Brian: Metterberger is the THIRD best QB in the SEC East. He’s nothing but a faction of someone’s imagination when it comes to what is at LSU. LSU is also the third best team in the East, because TAMU is better, and of course so is Alabama. I do buy that Richt is feeling warm if he loses, but I have to think that UGA comes out wayyyy more fired up than the mail in job against North Texas. The answer will be if Georgia can stop Jeremy Hill. Don’t let him sock you in the head, and you’ll win this. Georgia in a close one, and they will be able to basically punch their ticket to Atlanta.

Nebraska vs. ?????

Andy: That’s right, I just scrolled down to the bottom looking for Nebraska’s game on their bye week. I need a nap worse than Cobby needs a new liver & a full STD screening.