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Nebraska Athletic Department Terror: Shawn Eichorst Distributes WHO MOVED MY CHEESE

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Written by some guy claiming to be a doctor, WHO MOVED MY CHEESE is the standard for business executives to signal to their employees that major change is about to happen. Nebraska AD Shawn Eichorst has distributed the book to terrorized employees and none of this is true.

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We hope that the mere sight of its cover doesn't reduce you to a trembling mass of goo.
We hope that the mere sight of its cover doesn't reduce you to a trembling mass of goo.

Sources inside the Nebraska Athletic Department today stated that Shawn Eichorst has put the department into turmoil by distributing one of the most terrifying business books ever written - WHO MOVED MY CHEESE.

Written by some guy claiming to be a doctor, WHO MOVED MY CHEESE is the standard for business executives to signal to their employees that major change is about to happen. Millions upon millions of copies of WHO MOVED MY CHEESE have been sold, but even at only 96 pages long, only 14 have ever been completely read.

Mary Blathers was perfectly happy in her job ticket taking, received WHO MOVED MY CHEESE, read until page 11 and one week later found herself testing siphon hoses in Crystal City, Texas.

Jim Benson, in accounts receivables, got to page 21, blacked out and woke up a week later in a ditch just outside Peoria.

Kansas State head coach Ron Prince and man sought after for many head coach openings was given WHO MOVED MY CHEESE by his athletic director and disappeared from the face of the earth. That guy you think is Ron Prince? That's not really him.

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE is about the story of change and about how you'd better damned well accept change (not the kind you put in your pocket, the kind that alters your life) because you don't have a choice, it's coming whether you like it or not.

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE is not about Shawn Eichorst's experience in Wisconsin, where real good cheese, the kind of cheese you can eat and enjoy, is made.

News is that the book was distributed throughout the athletic department this morning and only moments later many athletic department employees started running. They weren't sure where the hell they were going, they were simply running. No doubt most of those running might never be seen again. Those who have experienced the WHO MOVED MY CHEESE phenomena know this to be true.

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE is the standard for business executives to signal to their employees that major change is about to happen


This story is satire, which means it's not real, but if WHO MOVED MY CHEESE shows up at your office this holiday season, you'd damned better start running. The only way to protect yourself from WHO MOVED MY CHEESE is to share this story on Facebook as many times as possible and even then it probably won't work.