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The Return of Corn Nation Mailbag!: Your Huskers, Your Questions

And not a single question about <strike>Tyler </strike>(sorry, Beth Mowins voice is still ringing in my ears) Taylor Martinez' new and improved throwing and accuracy. I guess we've already accepted it.  (Photo by Eric Francis/Getty Images)
And not a single question about Tyler (sorry, Beth Mowins voice is still ringing in my ears) Taylor Martinez' new and improved throwing and accuracy. I guess we've already accepted it. (Photo by Eric Francis/Getty Images)
Getty Images

Finally, the mailbag has COME BACK!!

To Corn Nation.

OK, enough of the Rock riff. Rather than plead for new e-mails in a tiny, mostly ignored post, I decided to do an initial mailbag with leftovers from last season I never got to, questions brought up during Algonquin rountable-like bar discussions and smartass remarks from friends and family. OK, not family. It makes a nice jumping off point even if a few are wickedly out of date. The good news is I declined to use any of the e-mails from Canadian Viagra companies and Nigerian princes looking to launder some cash. The bad news is that doing so eliminated 93% of the e-mails.

We're gonna try this weekly with some others on staff hopefully diving in, so start banging away with those e-mails. Humor, rudeness, the "boy that's out there!!" factor and weird crap that has nothing to do with Huskers are all encouraged.



Just sign it with whatever name you want printed and where your from.
(e-mail addresses will not be printed, passed on or used for any type of promotion)

Let's go...:

What are the keys to beating South Carolina Monday?
(Ed, Omaha, NE)

Ed, I see a decent start to the game, but I just have a bad feeling that we're going to give up a big play at the worst time - maybe right before the half? The second half will be a nightmare. I have this feeling, call it a gut instinct, that Dennard is going to lose control and get himself tossed. No explanation as to why I feel this way, but I do.The 4th quarter is going to be a disaster, let's just call the final SC 31 NU 14.

If the Nebraska program was a WWE superstar, who would it be right now? I was going to say Dolph Ziggler because we have some good moves, it seems like we're always a one step away from that title belt, and we're simply one of the best in the business at selling the other guy's moves and making him look great as we lose big matches in spectacular fashion. Of course, after the UCLA game, I'm pretty pissed and thnking we're just Koko B. Ware or La Parka - fun entrance, fans love us & we suck. Thoughts?
(Angry Bar Patron, name unknown, Omaha, NE)

(Full disclosure - I may have steered the conversation in WWE direction. So sue me)
So maybe it didn't come in an e-mail, but it's an outstanding question nonetheless. There's a lot of things I like about the Ziggler comparison as applies to the Bo squads. Ziggler is outstanding - always has quality riffs on the mic, outstanding athletic ring work, may be simply one of the best since Flair at selling the other guys moves, and has a top-notch finishing move. And he just can't get a world title run because something's a little off whether it's the goofy hair or a Vicki Guerrero "EXCUSE ME!!" act that grew stale about 15 minutes after Eddie died. The Huskers never really appear to be outmatched by anyone - something is just off in big moments. Like the pre-93 Osborne years.

Now the Koko/La Parka comparisons are just mean and bitter. We're not the equivalent of a black dwarf with a macaw on his shoulder or a guy in a full-body skeleton outfit playing air guitar with a folding chair. If you're set in the top 25 - and we are - you're not a jobber. The paycheck schools of lower D1 and 1-AA are the Barry Horowitzes and Iron Mike Sharpes of the world. (Alabama & LSU are currently Jon Cena and CM Punk. USC might be Daniel Bryan - can't you just picture Matt Barkley running around screaming, "NO!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!" at the Stanford crowd after the game? Well, I can.)

Right now, I'd probably compare us most strongly to The Miz. He had a long title run and he's far from irrelevant, but right now all he's doing is snagging an occasional intercontinental belt (victory over Michigan St?), but either not matched up against or losing to the biggest names out there. Also, no one likes him when he yells about how he used to be the champ. Most glaringly, he's bouncing around storylines with no world title shot in his near future.

And his catchphrase was born for our fanbase:


Rex Burkhead's knee. Is this the kind of injury that's going to nag for the rest of the year? I love Ameer but I'm scared shitless.
(Honestly terrfied bar patron, Omaha, NE)

I won't lie, so am I. This isn't supposed to happen to future legends of the program. And national title or no, you absolutely know that Burkhead is headed for Rodgers/Gill/Tagge/Frazier/Phillips/Henery/Panico/Rimington/Wistrom/Peter levels of reverence. If we see a season where a scenario of "play well, come limping out in the 2nd quarter, sit out a game, come back" repeats itself a few times, it could be tough on morale. Very tough. On the other hand, Ameer Abdullah may have suddenly emerged as the best back in the conference while Burkhead was out and since Wisconsin is playing without an O-line this year. The fumbles make me nervous though. Not Alexander/Buckhalter/Diedrick nervous, but still nervous.

Nothing on recruits yet, dude. You said you'd email me when you posted crap about the new guys.
(Constipated friend in need of toilet literature, Omaha, NE)

No excuses, dude. I usually like to get that review out right after signing day but it just didn't happen. With work and coaching piling up, naps and drinking took priority. The good news was that I did eventually get it finished. CLICK HERE (PART 1) and HERE (PART 2) to review the 2012 class.

Just how bad is Idaho St?
(Bartender, Omaha, NE)

2-9 in 2011. And a 1-AA team. Blown out by Montana, Montana St. and Eastern Washington. This is really bad. However, they are coming off of an impressive 38-5 beatdown of Black Hills St.

Why the hell is Bo pissing off all these elite recruits? If you didn't want to play them, why did you recruit them??? (Extra question marks for drunken hollering)
(Bar patron who couldn't remember half the players 1st names, Omaha, NE)

Whenever that many nationally heralded recruits leave in this short a time, it's going to set off warning bells. But if you take each one on a case by case basis, there doesn't appear to be much similarity:

Aaron Green - "didn't feel that he fit into the system" and decided to transfer during spring ball
Translation: "Shit, that 3-star kid from 'Bama is just flat out better than me."

Ryan Klachko - "We have a culture around here," Pelini said, "and if somebody doesn’t feel they fit into that culture — for whatever reason — he decided to take his talents someplace else. I wish him well."
Translation: Yeah, let's just go with that and move on. Sounds better than "GTFO out. Now!"

Tyler Moore - "He is back home. He had some things he wasn’t happy about at Nebraska, and he’s going to come home to get his head straight,’’ Brian Moore said
Translation: There is only so much Barney that one man can take. And he misses his girlfriend.

Chase Rome: Pelini told reporters after practice Wednesday that Rome’s "personal goals and personal perception of where he should be on this football team doesn’t match the team goals."
Translation: You are selfish and deluded. Talent loss mitigated by immediate spike in morale.

If the Big 10 coaches had a 12 man cage fight who would win? Not an elimination tournament, but sort of a "Hunger Games" type arena, but on a smaller scale so Urban Meyer couldn't just sprint for the forest & tie himself to a high tree branch while the other sorted things out?
(Joe Mama (Ed note: Really dude?), Grand Island, NE)

I am beside myself right now. I'm thinking of a fenced in and over area about half the size of a football field. Maybe some weapons on the sides that require a climb aka Thunderdome, but none of the rubber bands.How about a little rubble that can be used for throwing or bashing? If anyone tries to hang back for too long, they get tased and dropped. (Sorry, Urban) OK, I'm in, but this deserves its own article. I've got to get some odds and simulations going. Check back next week.