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The Corn Nation BCS Review

So the 1st set of BCS standings are out and to no one outside of Norman, OK's surprise the LSU Honey Badgers are the consensus number one. OK, the Tigers haven't officially changed their name, but the number of HB t-shirts on campus is fast approaching the traditional Tiger tees. Because Honey Badger takes what he- well, you know the rest by now.

So, the Bayou Bengal Badgers are #1, Alabama is #2 and the rest of the country is just hoping to slide into #2 for a chance to get lucky against the winner of their upcoming SEC West clash in the BCS title game. However, as dominant as the top two have been and as little hope as history appears to hold for opponents of the SEC, the 1st rankings do show something less than a consensus:


#1 LSU

LSU at 7-0 with victories over four ranked teams, including two on the road (one neutral site) would seem to be an easy pick for #1. They are, however, ranked 3rd in USA Today's poll, which apparently uses the heavyweight boxing theory of knocking off the champ, while ignoring evidence in front of one. It's also important to note the Colley Matrix and Ken Massey computer rankings. Putting LSU 4th & 5th respectively, the two of them are doing their best impression of the two unwashed Goth kids in the class who sneer and tell people not to hate just cuz they're different.

#2 Alabama

'Bama is America's #2 team. Seriously. They are ranked #1 only by Sagarin's laptop and are ranked no worse than #3 by anyone. Those that believe they are the best consider Trent Richardson the difference as LSU has no matching offensive weapon. However, #2 is where they belong for now given LSU's quality victories and stronger schedule to date. It really doesn't matter anyway. Nov. 5 settles all arguments.


#3 Oklahoma

Pretty much a consensus as well. Ranked #1 by the refusing to budge USA Today Poll and #2-5 by every other poll & computer. It's not like the Sooners have done anything really wrong or done anything really badly to warrant dropping from their preseason #1 perch. It's just that no one truly believes that either of the above defenses would do anything but treat Landry Jones and company like Goldberg would treat Koko B. Ware in a cage match.


#4 Oklahoma State

The frightening thing is that the Cowboys may actually be undefeated entering the season finale against the Sooners. Which will make yet another loss all the more disappointing. Of course the burning question in the hell did the Cowboys end up #4??? Simple. Five of the seven computers have them #1. WTF? Was Steve Jobs' brain actually hardwired into that shit and this is the first step where they all break down one by one? My head hurts.

#5 Boise State

The blue turd in the punch bowl will pray for Georgia to stay hot, so they can trumpet that one game as their reason for deserving to play in a title game. I love watching their offense and I do believe that Chris Peterson is one of the finest innovators in the game. But to steal from Colin Cowherd (I know, I know), Kellen Moore is the Jimmer of college football. You will not see him doing anything at the next level but flashing signs. And unlike other undeserving NFL starters, the power of Christ will not compel an NFL coach to start him ever. Boise will win out against the rest of their shitty schedule and piss & moan about exclusion. Lawsuits will be threatened. Yawn.

#6 Wisconsin

Other than Nebraska, the non-Honey Badgers' schedule has had all the quality of William Zabka as Hamlet. Thus the resulting disparity of opinion as talking heads and fans worship highlights of Russell Wilson for torching one of the Big 10's worst defenses and five UNLV or South Dakotas or whatever. The computers complete lack of respect for Wiscy is even more glaring: while ranking 4th in both polls, the computers have them anywhere from 6th to 17th. Michigan State will be the 1st tough defense they face and it could be a shock to the system.


#7 - Clemson
#8 - Stanford
#9 - Arkansas

ACC in the title game. Uh, no. Andrew Luck mania may give the Cardinal a boost, but the schedule is just stiff enough that they will trip once or twice. And Arkansas? No, Virginia, they're not winning the SEC West.


#10 Oregon

No, they're not likely climbing back where they were. But this IS basically the team that almost took it all last year. And if the season gets hinky and upsets start exploding left & right, they're in great position to climb to the top of the one loss heap. I'm just sayin'...

#'S 11, 12 AND 14+

Barring utter weirdness on a Crispin Glover level, all are irrelevant.

#13 Nebraska

Screw it, it's our site. #11 in both polls but disrespected by computers. Bo Pelini uses laptops to pound tent stakes.