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As The World Turns: Cody Glenn Caught Lying And Patrick Witt Jilts Nebraska for Yale

Ah, the soap opera never ends......

- Recent fifth-round draft pick and first-Husker-to-go Cody Glenn admits he was lying when he was suspended for scalping tickets. Apparently Glenn decided that he needed a good story to tell reporters, so he made one up. Bad move, Cody.

This is why "No Comment" is a valid answer when talking to reporters. If the media didn't have a reason to dig before, they do now. I, for one, am not sure I want to know what Glenn really did to get suspended. I'm kind of hoping we don't find out, and this is one of those things that we can all look back on one day and laugh about.

Really, I do.

Until then, good luck to you Cody Glenn. May you make a NFL roster (even the Redskins, bleah), make more money than me and some day sell me a ticket to a Husker game. At face value or less, of course.

- Patrick Witt, the guy who should have competed for the starting quarterback position is transferring to Yale to finish his career. Yale. Well, la-de-da. Yale. I guess that's just slightly understandable, isn't it? He even says tons of nice things about Bo Pelini, his teammates and (gulp) Husker fans.

Witt can play next season since Yale gave up playing real football years ago and only competes in the Ivy League.

Looking back on what Husker Mike and I said about Witt at the time, it's clear we weren't indignant enough for being some Internet site that's supposed to be all about wild accusations. Okay, maybe I was a little indignant with the "guarantee the starting position" stuff, but not really overboard, which is sometimes expected from those of us who run amok on the internet uncontrolled by media credentials. Given that, here's the real untold reason for Witt's transfer:

He obviously had an affair with a married cheerleader who's about to have his child and wants to leave town before the girl's Russian mafia uncle finds out. When he does, he'd have been sure to ship Witt to El Paso and assign him as the lead M203 dude on a drug-running patrol. At least at Yale he'll be protected by the Skull n Bones guys who'll no doubt want to groom him to become a future president of the United States because of combination of smarts, athleticism and all-around good guy demeanor. That's the kind of stuff that happens to people who attend Yale. The catch here is that we won't know who he is in a few years because of the plastic surgery, name change, and him having his legs shortened four inches.

There. I feel better. Don't you?

You can leave your own made-up Witt transfer rumor in the comments section. Maybe one that involves aliens, Gary Busey, chickens, and a nun.

Yale. We've been dumped for really smart people with a huge reputation. I hate it when that happens.