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Pirates Select Mike Leach As One They'd Most Like To Run-Through, Feed To Sharks

Texas Tech head football coach Mike Leach has a well-known admiration for pirates, but apparently that feeling isn't mutual. In a recent poll conducted by the Pirate's Guild, Leach was selected as the Big 12 coach most likely to be run through and fed to sharks.

Picture Swords Here Instead of Mics And You Get the Idea About How Pirates Feel About Leach. 

The survey and results weren't made available to the public, but done as a form of entertainment among Guild members. Pirates weren't asked to comment along with their questions, but a few couldn't help but start squawking when contacted about the survey.

When asked about Leach, Captain Blood stated, "That Leach fellow, he comes off as pouty baby, there's no way any pirate alive today would want any part of him.... ‘cept maybe his heart to keep in a jar. Har! Har!"

The survey asked members of the guild to rank the Big 12's college football coaches in several categories, from least likely to most likely.

A sample of survey questions included the following:

Pick the Big 12 head football coach you'd like to see:

  • Keel-hauled and fed to sharks.
  • Forced to walk the plank and fed to sharks.
  • Run-through with a blade and fed to sharks.
  • Kept on as a cabin boy (and later fed to sharks).
  • Permitted to join your crew.

Colorado head coach Dan Hawkins was selected as most likely to be kept on as cabin boy, while Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini was selected as most likely to be allowed to join a crew.

"With that scowl of his, he'd be right at home with the rest of us", stated Knob-Kneed Kate when asked about why Pelini faired better than the others. "He could probably run a man through with his bare hands." 

Bo Pelini and his scowl, favored by Pirates. 

Kansas head coach Mark Mangino was not included as an answer within the poll questions. When asked why, Captain Blood stated "We felt that he didn't belong (in the survey). We see him as more of a whaling problem than a pirate problem."