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Surviving The Offseason - Watching the Games All Over Again

This week’s tip for surviving the offseason is an obvious one - you watch the games all over again. Even the bad ones. Maybe you’re thinking that won’t take enough time. After all, the offseason is months long. The next college football season is an apocalypse away.

I suppose most rational human beings might watch the game again once and call it good. But I’m not talking about rational human beings, am I? I’m talking about you. You, that guy who’s suffering from "it’s not football season" depression.

Normal human beings would probably watch each game over again once, looking for big plays or the game changing moments. But not you. Not me, either. I can watch the same game 20 times and see an entirely different game each time. See, when I watch the game the first time, either live or on TV,  I watch the offensive and defensive linemen. After the play starts, I switch to backfield movement, then back to the line.

There’s probably not a lot of people who watch a game that way. Linemen aren’t exactly the most athletic.…. at least they’re not thought of as the most athletic people on the team. Most people are probably watching the star player, or the quarterback, or the guy who has the ball or that girl over there.

And that’s the key to getting the most out of offseason game re-watching. There’s no rush, there’s plenty of time. You can watch each and every position on the field, or watch each unit. You can spend a whole game watching linebackers, and the next time watch the offensive backfield. Then there’s those girls over there. You could potentially come up with a huge number of different iterations and enjoy the 2008 season clear through July. There’s nothing wrong with that. Howard Hughes watched "Ice Station Zebra" 150 times and he ended up a rich and famous guy. 

Howard Hughes - Rich, Genius. Maybe a little obsessed. Maybe.

And let’s be honest - the first time around, you might not have been completely sober, right? So you really don’t remember everything that happened. It’s all kinda fuzzy, which is why watching it in the offseason is like a whole new experience. And it’s a darned good excuse to have some adult beverages next season, so that during the next offseason it’s like watching a whole new season over again.

Note that this tip about watching the games all over doesn’t work for every team in every year. You’d only watch the 2007 Nebraska season over again if you hated the Huskers or were extremely masochistic, despite what Kevin Cosgrove may or may not have to say about his defense.

And if you’re a Golden Domer, well, you’re not going to watch the 2007 season over again are you? Come to think of it you’re probably not watching the 2008 season again either. Charlie Weis is back next season and calling the plays again... so things don’t look too good for 2009. Wow. It sucks to be you.
Hey! Things are looking.. well, the same in 2009! Did I mention I'll be calling plays again?

This leads me to another tip on how to survive the offseason.

Make a list of all the fans who wouldn’t want to watch their team’s season over again.

I’ve already got you started with Notre Dame. How about Texas for number two?

You can watch the entire 2008 season feeling great with the exception of a single second. Think about that for a minute. One second away from perfection. Let’s see.…  that’s 13 games composed of... oh, let’s just keep it easy and say 60 minutes of field time for 780 minutes, which is 46,800 seconds.

Texas fans can watch 46,799 seconds of football feeling good. One more second and oh, they are so screwed! No Big 12 Championship, no BCS title game shot. Whoooeee! Sucks to be them, too!

So there you are for this week’s tip on how to survive the offseason! It should last you a while, but I’ll keep trying to come up with one every Wednesday of the offseason. Be sure and check back and if you like, you can come up with your own tips and post them in the comment section, or email me - cornnation at gmail dot com.

Have A Great Day!