Using Corn Nation's vast and elaborate network of spies, we have obtained information about a new offensive information that the diabolical (quirky) offensive genius Mike Leach (code name "Captain Weiner") intends to unveil against Nebraska.
The formation is specifically designed to counter the ferocious, unstoppable, force otherwise known as Ndamukong Suh (code name "House of Spears").The formation, known as "Suh-Bait" will feature two quarterbacks lined up in shotgun formation. At the start of the play, QB2 will receive the snap and move away from the line of scrimmage in an erratic, flailing manner specifically designed to attract defensive linemen who like to break quarterbacks in half, (severing their spine, rendering them incapable of passing, running, or eating with their hands).
QB1 will move away from QB2, making sure to be behind him, then stay motionless so as not to attract attention. When QB2 reaches the "squash point", he will turn and throw the ball back to QB1 who will then calmly throw it downfield to an open receiver, resulting in big yardage and much happiness for the Red Raiders, who will respond by will respond by jumping up and down repeatedly while yelling "YARRRR, Touchdown, YARRR!"
Should QB2 be injured or killed by House of Spears during the play, Captain Weiner has established the following line of succession, indicating that the play will not be run more than five times, as that's the maximum amount of collateral damage that will be tolerated.
Here's the line of succession:
- Marlon "twitter bitch" Williams
- Some redshirt freshman who pisses me off during the game
- That dork who rides the horse at home games
- A girl scout with big hands
A simulation of said play has been put together by our extremely adept tech crew to give fans a better idea of what Leach has in store. Blood, gore and extreme violence have been removed to protect the children.