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Corn Dog's College Football Blogging Award Voting

I don't have the time it takes to review the CFB Blogging Awards, so I've decided to turn it over to one of my new assistants - "Corn Dog". Notice that it's not 'dawg' or dawwwwwg', it's just "D-O-G", the normal, plain ol' proper English spelling. He probably should have chosen the name 'Salty Dog' - it'd be a better fit. Most of the profanity will be removed from Corn Dog's posts and they'll be edited to be more, ah, readable. His language fits well if you're talking to him while he's standing in a corn field having a beer next to a John Deer 7720, but.... we're not in a field next to a 7720, are we?  

Without further ado.... here is Corn Dog's CFB Awards Ballot, complete with explanations for why he voted the way he did. Please direct your questions and feedback to Corn Dog in the comments section because he has a hard time with his email.

Thanks,
Corn Blight

NOMINEES

I'm not going to say much about myself. I'm just going to jump right in and start.

Best MSM Blog

1     Lopez@Large
2     DC Sports Bog
3     Tony Barnhart
4     Bruce Feldman
5     Whit Watson

Didn't they invent blogging to give regular Joe's the ability to have their opinions heard? Is this award some kind of attempt by these blogging award people to suck up to the regular media - "Hey, notice us, we gave you an award" kind of thing. Reminds me of the time me and the missus went to this casino 'n' saw Reba there. Before we saw here, the missus was all about how Reba was some hussy, then then she sees Reba and she's just going on about how wonderful Reba is - Reba this, Reba that. It was disgusting is what it was, kind of like this award.

There wasn't a choice to not vote, so I left the ballot like it was. I hate it when voting gets manipulated like that, like a referendum. Next thing you know, they're building some dam, or a new casino, or and you wonder where the hell it came from.

The Dr. Z Award

1      MGoBlog
2     Burnt Orange Nation
3     Dawg Sports
4     Sunday Morning Quarterback
5     Blue Gray Sky
6     Mark May Be Wrong

Cogent? Hell, I hated geometry in high school. Never understood it. I read some of these throughout the season when we had electricity that is.  I thought that guy who does the big Michigan blog had pretty good stuff, almost too much to read.

Burnt Orange Nation.... I wonder if it ever occurred to those Texas people that their school color is the same color as calf scours. I bet not. Who the hell wants to wear clothes the color of calf scours? Yeeeucck! They'll be heretofer known as CSN - Calf Scour Nation. Dawg Sports, I like him because he makes fun the Pac-10.

The Trev Alberts Quits To Do Construction Award

1     Fire Mark May
2     Every Day Should Be Saturday
3     Hey Jenny Slater
4     The MZone
5    Loser With Socks

Oh, this one I like, funny web sites. Those guys that do 'Fire Mark May' are pretty funny. Funny strange. EDSBS, funny stuff too, as in funny funny. I voted 'Hey Jenny Slater' up there because Jenny Slater's web site had 'I Fall To Pieces' by Patsy Cline on it, and if there ever was an angel on earth, it was Patsy. MZone, funny crude funny, you'd think I'd vote them higher wouldn't you?

The Job Award

1     Orange 44
2     The Virginia Fanhouse
3     Bruins Nation
4     State Fans Nation
5     Scalp 'Em
6     Hey Jenny Slater

Anyone who can write about Syracuse without slitting their wrists is okay in my book, even though the sumbitches upset us in 1984. I still haven't gotten over that.

The Keith Jackson Circa 1995 Award

1      Every Day Should Be Saturday
2     Dawg Sports
3     MGoBlog
4     Sunday Morning Quarterback
5     Ron Bellamy's Underachieving All Stars

I like the EDBS guys, they are funny. That Dawg Sports guy writes stuff I don't understand sometimes, so it must be good. Who is Ron Bellamy?

The Brady Quinn Award

1     Rocky Top Talk
2     Bevo Sports
3     Men Of The Scarlet And Gray
4     Buckeye Commentary
5     Trojan Wire

The "Brady Quinn" award what a wonderful name. Brady Quinn is one of the reasons they ought to do away with facemasks. Pretty boys should not play football, or if they do, they shouldn't be pretty after they're done. I don't know much about 'best looking' web sites, I picked the one with the best pictures and it was that guy that did all the animations. I thought that was pretty cool. I voted the Texas guys right behind him.

Best New Blog

1      Double Extra Point
2     Fire Mark May
3     Conquest Chronicles
4     Corn From A Jar
5     Card Chronicle
6     Saurian Sagacity

Aren't they all new? They are to me. I voted the Double Husker guy high, and the Fire Mark May guys because they're weird. Conquest Chronicles, even though it's a Pac-10 blog, I like it, I think the guy who does it is older like me, so I moved him up.

The Jay Sherman Award

1     Mark May Be Wrong
2     The Wizard of Odds
3     Braves And Birds
4     Gunslingers

Who else can win this but the guys from Mark May Be Wrong? Didn't Jay Sherman do Rocky and Bullwinkle?

Best Community

1     Burnt Orange Nation
2     MGoBlog
3     Bruins Nation
4     Every Day Should Be Saturday
5     Blue Gray Sky
6     State Fans Nation

Everyone comments on Calf Scour Nation no matter what they write. Same with the guy at the Michigan Blog. They both could post something about how human growth hormones in cow milk is affecting football players that no one would understand and still get more comments than this guy at Corn Nation ever will.

The Tyrone Prothro Award

1      Requiem
2     Eleven Swans
3     Chris Fowler's Diary
4     Four Plays (Four-Part Series)
5     YOUR SCHOOL'S PROMOTIONAL AD IS TEH SUX0RZ! GRAND CRU: APPALACHIAN IS HOT HOT HOT!

You have to give it to the Michigan guys for the stuff about Bo. I hated Bo when he was alive, it was like part of my job, but he was an old school guy like me. Then there's that one about Chris Fowler, pretty funny. That Fowler, he is kind of wimpy, I can see him writing this as a diary.

The Old Faithful Award

1      Under The Hood
2     The Fulmer Cup
3     Friday Morning Quarterback
4     Upon Further Review
5     Maxwell Pundit

I liked the Calf Scour Nation Under the Hood stuff, and the Fulmer Cup stuff was pretty good, too. Second thought, I should have voted Fulmer ahead of Under the Hood, but it's too late now. I hope the Fulmer guy loses by a point. That'd be funny.

The Jenn Sterger's Rack Award

1      I Hate Your Favorite Team
2     Chris Fowler's Diary
3     Georgia Tech Motivational Posters
4     Miles Hat Monday
5     WHAAA WHAAAAA I Have Cancer...
6     Coaches' Halloween Costumes

I tried hard to find some fake racks on any of these pages and failed. I even looked for deer hunting pictures, and there were none of those neither. Then I read that one "I hate your favorite team" and I just bust out laughing. I do hate your favorite team but just remember, I am armed most of the time, you (expletive deleted).

Best Podcast/Audio Thing

1     The Double A Zone
2     In The Bleachers
3     Lee Corso Slo Jam
4     The Orgeron Song
5     Michael Lewis Interview
6     Friday Night Lites
7     Midwestcoast Bias

That "Oregon" Song is just damned funny. I'm not sure who Oregon is, but he sounds like a guy I know who sings like that after a 12 pack. And seeing Lee Corso as Butch Reynolds, ha! I don't like the music, it's funny, although the guy doesn't sound like Lee Corso. Where the hell is any country music in this, if it's going to be audio.  

Best ACC Blog

1      Scalp 'Em
2     State Fans Nation
3     Eagle In Atlanta
4     The Georgia Tech Fanhouse
5     Ramblin' Racket

I hate the ACC too. They're a bunch of SEC-wannabees. I liked the Scalp 'Em guys post about getting rejected by the university. Seems like the university don't want nothing but your money, doesn't it?

Best Big Ten Blog

1     MGoBlog
2     The MZone
3     Black Shoe Diaries
4     The Wisconsin Fanhouse
5     Buckeye Commentary

I wanted to vote the Wisconsin guys higher, being the land of beer and cheese and all, but just couldn't. Them Michigan boys are too good. They have big deer in Michigan. Wisconsin too. I'd like to get up there hunting sometime.

I wonder if a badger could beat a wolverine in a fight. Badgers are pretty damned mean, if there's one animal you don't mess with it's a badger. Those little turds'll come right at you like they're going to skin you alive. I've never seen a real wolverine, but I hear they are twice as big as a badger and just as mean. That's why I wonder if a badger could beat a wolverine. Either way, there'd be lots of noise and fur flying.

Best Big East Blog

1      Blue Gray Sky
2     Rakes of Mallow
3     Card Chronicle
4     The House Rock Built
5     (also Pitt Fanhouse)

The Big Least, they weren't the least this year were they? 'Cept why is Notre Dame in here. Shouldn't they have their own award? Like "Most Overhyped Team" award. They'd win it every year.

Best SEC Blog

1     Every Day Should Be Saturday
2     Rocky Top Talk
3     Dawg Sports
4     Roll Bama Roll
5     The Georgia Sports Blog

I like the EDBS picture of Spurrier and that quarterback on top of the web site. I always liked Steve Spurrier, he was always good for saying something stupid. I liked his visor. I like how he was always yelling at someone, kind of like my man Bobby Knight. Kids these days need more of that, being yelled at. Too many are grown up babies, crying when things don't go their way.

Best Big Twelve Blog

1     Burnt Orange Nation
2     Double Extra Point
3     Cross Cyed
4     Corn Nation
5     The 12th Man Child

Texas is all right, you know. Most of that movie "Lonesome Dove" was in Texas, and I liked that. 'Cept they got those little bitty pygmy deer in Texas. How they hunt those things? Shoot about 20 of them to make a sausage?

I voted for the Double Husker guy next, then that guy from Iowa. I like Iowegians, I do. They're nice down to earth people, I envy them. They don't have to irrigate, all they do is plant, then sit around the rest of the summer. The state stinks, though, too many hogs. You can tell people from Iowa 'cause they have that hog smell about them, even people from Des Moines.

The '12th Man Child' is a fruity name for a web site, but I voted it ahead of Corn Nation because this guy who calls himself corn blight is a wimpy ass.

Best Pac Ten Blog

1 Building The Dam
2 Conquest Chronicles
3 Tightwad Hill
4 Bruins Nation
5 Boi From Troy

I hate the PAC-10, always have. I don't get all the hoopla over the Rose Bowl. Everyone's like "We got to get to the Rose Bowl", and all those Big 10 people are always excited about getting to the Rose Bowl, and then when they do, they get their asses kicked by some California team. I just picked some of these in random order. I mentioned I hate the PAC-10, didn't I?

I like beavers, though.

Best Non-BCS Blog

1     The Navy Fanhouse
2     Ricefootball.net
3     Block U
4     Provo Pride
5     The Fresno State Fanhouse

Who couldn't vote for someone writing about Navy? By the time I got this far, I couldn't take much more looking at web sites.

Best National Blog

1     Every Game Counts
2     Fanblogs
3     Sunday Morning Quarterback
4     College Football Resource
5     The Fanhouse
6     The Wizard of Odds

Every Game Counts had real people on it, coaches and everything. The rest of these guys are just pretending.

Mythical National Champion

1     Every Day Should Be Saturday
2     MGoBlog
3     Burnt Orange Nation
4     Sunday Morning Quarterback
5     Blue Gray Sky
6     College Football Resource

Out of this group, the Florida guys are champions on and off the field. That kind of sucks. Maybe it's ironic that Michigan ends up second to them again. Maybe not.

It's a damn good thing that it's winter, and I ain't doing much.  I do need clean up the planter yet for spring. My God, there were just a crapload of these awards. I was surprised they didn't give one for best animated turd or something like that. Now I know what those guys at the Academy feel like when they have to look at all those movies. I bet they drink a lot when they do that. You know they do, especially when they're watching those movies with subtitles.

Thanks for listening,

Corn Dog