Corn Flakes - The NCAA Has An Alcohol Problem

by corn blight on Apr 10, 2008 7:12 AM CDT in Corn Flakes Comment 1 comment

Spring is here. That may seem obvious to most of you, but it's not so here in Minnesota, especially after this winter. It's been brutal. It's been damned cold and it just won't warm up and stop snowing. Another winter storm is expected in the next couple days.

I am so looking forward to getting back to Lincoln for the spring game. I am hoping for good weather. It'd be a nice break.

Nebraska should focus on recruiting centers. I was confused when I saw the headline whether they were talking about the center position or locations, i.e., hotbeds of talent. They're talking about centers. We have to replace a gob of linemen next year, you know.

Colorado is changing it's offense. They're going to be doing a lot of he same things, but out of a shotgun. And they're going to be doing a lot of no-huddle. Apparently it worked well enough at Kansas and Missouri that the Buffs are going to do it.

Copy cats.

Here's a shocker. Iowa State might use two quarterbacks.

Austen Arnaud and Phillip Bates are competing for the starting job, but Chizik says both sophomores figure into the Cyclones' future plans.

"There's nothing wrong with playing two of them," Chizik said. "Whatever one of them brings to the table (that) we feel like can help move our club, then we'll put them in there to do that."

Well, duh. Replacing Brett Meyer won't be an easy task for the Cyclones. The guy was there for eight or nine years, wasn't he?

Apparently you can repeatedly test positive for marijuana and still play for Kansas, especially if your name is Aqib Talib.

Talib admitted at the NFL scouting combine to testing positive for marijuana three times while at Kansas, according to Pro Football Weekly. The magazine reported that Talib said he had told Kansas head coach Mark Mangino in advance that he was going to test positive to one of the tests.

If you tell the coach ahead of time, maybe it doesn't count.

I've tried that. "Hey, dear, I'm going to get really drunk, turn into a complete ass, stumble home at 3:00 am tonight, just so you know." Doesn't work. She's still pissed when it happens. Maybe it's the delivery?

The guys at the Columbia Tribune blog Behind the Stripes stay up really late thinking of cute phrases to describe their players. Here they go all out about Jeremy Maclin:

But first, we make a case that Maclin will be college football’s best DEEP threat this fall. And by DEEP threat I don’t mean he’ll catch the most go routes or fade patterns. In this case, DEEP stands for Dynamic Explosive Electric and Prolific, all of which perfectly fit No. 9.

In other words, he might be the country’s one player who can do the most things with the ball (Dynamic), create the biggest plays (Explosive) in the most dazzling fashion (Electric) all while piling up monstrous statistics in multiple categories (Prolific.)

Good thing they explain that whole DEEP thing in detail. You ever told anyone from Missouri a joke? You're always having to explain it later. Takes all the fun out of it.

News flash - OU's Malcom Kelly isn't as fast as he's supposed to be. At OU's Pro Day, Kelly ran a 4.68 40, and then blamed it on the surface on which he ran:

He said he was surprised when he arrived and found out he'd instead be running on the artificial turf inside the Sooners' indoor football facility.

"I already had everything set up for where I want to do it at," Kelly said. "I get out here and it's a whole different deal."

In a nutshell, this sums up everything that's stupid about the NFL draft. Kelly is right in that teams will look at a slow 40 time and drop him down a little, costing him money and prestige. Apparently a few years of playing football isn't enough to evaluate a player, the geniuses in the NFL know better than to trust what they see on the field.

As for Kelly.... how 'bout you whine about it some more? It's not as if you won't get a chance, and it's not as if field conditions are going to be perfect when you're playing in the NFL.

Sam Keller and Corey McKeon in a compromising position? And with another guy? (HT: Bring On the Cats.)

What the hell is Gary Barnett doing at Nebraska practices, looking for a job?

According to more than 100 college presidents, the NCAA allowed too much beer advertising during the Big Dance.

They accuse the organization of violating its own policies that supposedly limit beer advertising to 60 seconds per hour and no more than 120 seconds per telecast.
The Center for Science in the Public Interest in Washington, D.C., which helped organize the letter, said it counted 200 seconds and 240 seconds of beer advertising during the NCAA semifinal games. They counted 270 seconds of beer advertising during Monday night’s final.

I'm sure the NCAA's response will be something along the lines of an apology and feigned outrage at how this could be allowed to happen, it's a mistake, they'll correct it, blah blah blah. Basically the same bullshit that that most organizations use for a response these days - do something and apologize for it later.

Maybe the college presidents are as sick of the Bud Light Dude man as I am. Still, two to three times too much? Sounds like the NCAA has an alcohol problem.

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Oh man.

I knew there was something a little queer with Keller and McKeon. Especially when they were wearing the volleyball outfits. The worst part is I think they were enjoying it! Anyway, at least we know what they were doing in practice last season!

by 96operator on Apr 10, 2008 12:41 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs