Mike: Next up on TMZ.. um er, I guess this is back to a Nebraska football blog, right?
Nathaniel: Another terrible slate of games this week. Bring on the conference schedules.
Cobby: I WILL FIND THIS LEAKER!! YOU WANT TO SEE LEAKING, WAIT TILL I SLAP THEIR HEAD WITH A SOCK FULL OF QUARTERS & PISS ON THEIR BACK! NOT SINCE O.J. WENT AFTER THE REAL KILLERS WILL YOU SEE SOMEONE PURSUE THIS BASTARD LIKE COLUMBO ON CRYSTAL METH!!!
Aaron: Really [expletive] eloquent Cobby.
Andy: Wonderful day of football last week. Nothing a week of binge drinking couldn’t fix, right? Fortunately, the misery of others keeps me going. Thank you, Charlie Weis. Thanks you, Joel Stave.
James: Not the best week for football. I might actually like, go outside and enjoy the California sun, or hang out with my wife, or play GTA V or something. Weird. This has been a hell of a week for Nebraska football, and I believe is the beginning of the end. Should be a fascinating rest of the season.
Salt Creek: Guys. I’M GOING TO SEE FOOTBALL IN REAL LIFE THIS WEEKEND. Yes, it’s Georgia beating up on North Texas. BUT REAL LIFE FOOTBALL. Also, who else is excited for some Tommy Armstrong on the option? There will be some older Nebraska fans having feelings they haven’t had in years.
Brian: Salt, you’re happy you get to watch Dan McCartney take it in the shorts? You sicko. Also, I get Saturday off to watch all the football I want HOOOSAAAAA. Just… gotta be up at 6am on Sunday. BUT HEY FOOTBALL DARNIT.
Kansas State (+4.5) at Texas
Jon: Bill Snyder has owned Texas the past decade, and now Texas is reeling from the stink of themselves. This game is televised on Saturday night on ABC/ESPN, so weeheheeeeee - be sure to make the game thread! Kansas State 38, Texas 2
Nathaniel: The Huskers made have played terrible last week but at least we aren’t the LOLonghorns. Cats 24 Cows 21
Cobby: DAMN, BOYS!! YOU GOT MORMONS & INBREDS STOMPING ENOUGH MUDHOLES IN YOUR ASSES TO SINK BEVO UP TO HIS MAN TITS IN YOUR SHIT!! GOOD THING THE JERSEYS MATCH. TEXAS FOREVER, INDEED!! WELCOME TO 1-3!! KITTIES 27 HORNS 14
Andy: Longhorn Nation may be coming to grips with the fact 7-on-7 year round football and loading up a recruiting class before any of them have played a down their senior year may not be the way to go. Seems like 15 years ago that they were actually neck & neck with ‘Bama in a national title game, doesn’t it? KSU 30 Texas 24
Aaron: Normally this is an easy pick. You always take KSU against Texas. I can’t believe how much trouble we use to have against the Longhorns. Kansas State 27, Texas 21
Mister Mike: K-State is currently on a 5-0 run against MBTF (That’s MackBrownTexasFootball to the uninitiated). Even Tejas fans think the the streak goes to 6-0 this Saturday. Take KSU and the points as The Dark Wizard from Manhattan works his magic again. KSU: 38 Texas 27
David: I’ll take Texas, really, only because no one else has. KState can’t beat them every year, can they? Texas 31 KState 21
Salt Creek: Texas hasn’t beaten K-State in forever. That streak continues, a shining star in Mack Brown’s career. K-State by the end of the third quarter.
James: K-State is Texas’s kryptonite, just as Texas was ours. I like Kansas State in this one. Can’t go against a hot streak like that.
Husker Mike: I thought the Bovines would circle the wagons last week. Instead, they circled the drain. And as Andy points out, topping the recruiting rankings in July is kind of like leading the NL Central on tax day. Or beating Southern Miss in week two. Kitties 38, Cows 20
Brian: See the drains circle in Austin? Mack can’t lose this one to go 1-3 into the bye week. I mean, that’s 2 weeks before OU in Dallas, and even Iowa State could be considered equal to a fave at Jack Trice. However, Bill Snyder doesn’t have world killers or such. Gimme the Wildcats because right now, they are mentally stronger than the Longhorns.
Missouri (-3) at Indiana
Jon: I’m looking forward to watching this game. I don’t care all that much who wins… oh, hell, like we don’t all want to see Missouri lose to Indiana because other people’s misery is much easier to take than our own. Indiana 74, Missouri 65
Nathaniel: This battle of bottomfeeder conference teams should be interesting to watch but I still think the Tigers escape Bloomington with a victory. Missouri 37 Indiana 34 (Andy: Picking a push is gutsy!!)
Cobby: I TRY TO AVOID MISSOURI FANS. THEY’RE A MOSTLY LOATHSOME & DERANGED BUNCH WHO’LL GO BUG-EYED TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU THAT 2+2=73 ON A VARIETY OF SUBJECTS, THEN BUST YOU IN THE SKULL WITH A PBR BOTTLE WHEN YOU WALK AWAY FROM THE ARGUMENT WHILE THEY DROOL & MAKE ODD HOOTING SOUNDS. NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM. EVER. HOOSIERS 47 TIGERS 45
Andy: This has the potential to be the Most Entertaining Meaningless Game of the Day. Indiana & Misery are averaging 52 and 42 ppg respectively. Indiana’s defense is a sieve and the Tiggies have only faced Toledo & Murray St. Let the fireworks begin. Misery 41 Indy 35
Aaron: I’d love to go with Indiana. I really would, but just when you think they are ready to join the mid-tier of the Big Ten, they crap the bed. Missour"a" 45, oh hell, they’ll join the mid-tier of the Big Ten this week. Indiana 54, Missour"e" 32
Mister Mike: Hard to pick this one. Mizzou hasn’t played anyone worth a shit and Indiana is...still Indiana, despite their more or less impressive showing against BGSU last week. Since all answers must be posed in the form of a question, I’ll take "What is defense for $800, Alex?" Lots of yards, lots of points. No one wins in the end. Take Mizzou and the points: Mizzou 59, Indiana 42.
David: Oh, please, please let Indiana win this game. Pleasepleasepleaseplease. Hoosiers 38 Tigers 35
Salt Creek: Missouri will feel right at home in this game - it’ll be just like the old defense-optional Big 12. Take Indiana here because I want to see Mizzou fans riding the coattails of the rest of the SEC well into the future. #Mizzoutucky
James: I think this will be a game that surprises some folk, and Indiana knocks off an SEC team to slightly lessen the giant black eyes the B1G always seems to end up with.
Husker Mike: Remember when Mizzou used to be a nice mid-tier Big XII team? Now they are just another awful black and gold team that thinks they are Nebraska’s rival. Hoosier-Daddy 47, Miz-SEC 37
Brian: I’m really intrigued by this one. If Indiana wants to go bowling this year, this is a game they probably need. Mizzou’s offense isn’t great, but who really knows how good Indiana can play D? Lets see if they can fill the stadium in Bloomington for this one, I mean basketball still doesn’t start for another week right? Hoosiers in this one, and there is hope for Kevin Wilson.
Arkansas (+1) at Rutgers
Nathaniel: I think this will be a good game like last year but I think Rutgers will just need to stack the box to stop Arkansas’s one-dimensional running attack in what seems to be mimicking Wisconsin’s offense last year. Knights 27 Piggies 17
Cobby: WHENEVER I THINK OF ARKANSAS, I JUST REMEMBER WATCHING THEM PLAY LIKE 15 OVERTIMES AGAINST KENTUCKY ONE NIGHT ON TBS, AND THEN COLOR MAN & MY CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND BRIAN BOSWORTH COMMENTED ON AIR, "THERE’S NOT ANY MOONSHINE BEING DELIVERED IN THIS COUNTRY TONIGHT!" HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS GAME BUT STILL STILL MAKES ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. RUTGERS 27 ARKANSAS 19
Aaron: I’m probably one of the few that thinks Bret Bielema is going to make Arkansas a respectable football team in the SEC west. They’ve looked better so far this year playing weaker competition. Rutgers Stadium should be fired up for this game as they will want to prove to their new conference that they can compete with the SEC. They would love to take down Bret Bielema which means it won’t happen. Razorbacks 31, Knights 24
Andy: Arkansas may be the worst 3-0 team in the country. Seriously, take a look at this shit. As the Huskers found out the hard way, Bielema teams do tend improve over the course of the season, but this is their 1st game against a non-scrimmage level opponent and it’s on the road. God bless them for being the rare SEC team that will leave the region for a game, but this smells like a loss. Rutgers 23 Arky 21
Mister Mike: Another team from the SEC that hasn’t done shit yet. An interesting game, notable for the fact that like Andy said, they left the SEC for a road game. Anyone checked the temperature in hell yet? I don’t think Rutgers gets it done here. They haven’t been worth a damn since Schiano left (hell, even before he left) and other than eyeballs on TV sets, I’m still trying to figure what in the fat, red, hill-billy ass Delany was thinking bringing them into the B1G. Take Arky and the points here: Arky 27, Rutgers 20.
David: #Karma Rutgers 28, Arkansas 27.
Salt Creek: Rutgers is going to win this one on a zany zebra call. #karma
James: I liked a lot of what I saw from Rutgers against Fresno State. But I think Arkansas is a lot for them to handle. This should be a really fun game, and once again, could give the B1G a little pride in an incoming member. Man if Rutgers and Maryland’s trajectories both keep up, that East division is going to be nasty.
Husker Mike: David stole my line. Rutgers 27, Arky 23
Jon: If Rutgers wins they’re in the Big Ten. If they don’t, I don’t know what conference they’re in. Rutgers 21, Arkansas 20
Brian: Is either team really good? I mean, Rutgers can score, that we saw against Fresno St in the opener, but it’s not like Arkansas is that good either. Being in Jersey, who knows how this one really ends up. /flips coin /Rutgers
Arizona State (+7.5) at Stanford
Andy: Stanford’s not exactly looking like the juggernaut to challenge Oregon that many people were predicting thus far, but I’m going to guess that San Jose & Army didn’t have them highly motivated. A home crowd and a 2-0 Sun Devils team will. I wouldn’t count on Kevin Hogan just dropping the ball on the turf in a tight spot. Also, Todd Graham is an asshole. Stanford 31 ASU 20
Nathaniel: This game will be closer than many people think but unless Stanford QB Kevin Hogan decides to decides to kneel and quickly put the ball down on the field near the end of the game I don’t see the Sun Devils winning this game. Cardinal 34 Sun Devils 30
Cobby: MY ENDURING MEMORIES OF ASU INCLUDE BRUCE SNYDER SCREECHING LIKE A HYENA AFTER THE HUSKERS ROLLED UP A MASSIVE 14 POINTS IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE 77-28 BEATDOWN IN 1995. COME THE FIESTA BOWL, THIS RESULTED IN SOME NOT VERY FRIGHTENING HAIRY EYEBALLS IN TEMPE FROM OVER HAIR-GELLED LOCALS IN DARLING LITTLE PASTEL SHIRTS WITH THE COLLARS POPPED. HILARITY.
SMART GUYS 38 DESERT BROS 27
Aaron: My enduring memories of ASU include 3 safeties and getting blanked in what became known as the Disaster in the Desert in 1996.(Cobby: THANKS, NOW I HAVE TO DRINK THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM AGAIN!!) I’ve been a Stanford backer for a couple years now and even picked them to beat Oregon last year. For some reason, I think the Sun Devils come out and win this one this year. ASU 27, Stanford 24
Mister Mike: Although the Devils were up on Wiscy for a good part of the game last week, that was still a team with a new coach, and they still had some problems containing the power running game of Wiscy. Luckily the refs had that game on lock and handed it to the Devils at the end. Stanford plays a similar style to Wiscy, except they don’t have a new coach and they’ve been running that shit for years now. Take Stanford, since they’ll roll here: Pine Trees 34 Devils 20.
David: Gonna take more than a botched call by the refs for the Sun Devils to take this one. Stanford rolls. 31-10
Salt Creek: Something tells me the Pac 12 refs will be on their best behavior. Stanford takes the ball and runs with it. Literally. (Someone tell Beck.)
James: Really looking forward to this game. I think Arizona State pulls the upset. I wouldn’t bet on it, cause Sparky will be Sparky, but this should be a much better game than people expect. Stanford isn’t quite what it was, and ASU’s aerial assault just came off a tough test versus Wiscy, so I think they will be more prepared this week.
Husker Mike: Take the tree. Stanford 38, Arizona State 24
Brian: Todd Graham got a extension this week. It will cover his moving expenses to Champagne when he gets trucked out of Tempe next year. Stanford in this one.
Michigan State (+6.5) at Notre Dame
Aaron: I still don’t know how good either of these two teams are. I thought Sparty sucked until they actually scored points last week. I thought Notre Dame was alright, until Michigan crapped the bed against Akron and the Irish almost lost to Purdue. It’s in South Bend, so I’ll go with the Irish. ND 12, MSU 10.
Andy: "Thith ith a match-up for the ageth. That Michigan loth doethn’t mean a thing. The Irishith can sthill run the table, catch some breakth from other teamth and get right back in the nathional championthip pictthure which they will do and then take their revenge on the Crimthon Tide." Thanks Lou, I feel like I just stepped out of the shower in an Econolodge. Sparty 27 Irish 26
Nathaniel: Both teams have good defenses and mediocre offenses so this game should be a doozy. Irish 17 Sparty 13
Cobby: I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT I’M NO MORE THAN A ⅓ OF THE WAY DOWN THE BOTTLE OR UNDER FIVE BUSCH HEAVIES WHENEVER "RUDY" COMES ON. THAT CHUM BUCKET OF A MOVIE HAS BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR ME PUTTING MY TONY LAMA’S THROUGH FOUR FLAT SCREENS. ONE OF THEM WAS EVEN MINE.
IRISH 20 SPARTANS 12
Mister Mike: Sparty’s defense will keep them in the game right up to the end. Except their offense goes missing again and takes them right back out of it. ND’s too good up front on defense. Don’t expect a lot of points, but take the Irish. ND 21 MSU 10.
David: Until I see Sparty have some offensive success vs. a team with actual FBS talent, I’m selling. This game is gonna be ugly. 24-6, ND.
Salt Creek: I’m not buying Notre Dame this year. 12-10 Sparty.
Husker Mike: Both teams are overrated. While Sparty’s defense is legit, the offense isn’t. Beating up on a 1-AA team is nice, but proves nothing. Irish 13, Sparty 11.
James: Notre Dame is more overrated than MSU is. MSU’s defense is downright nasty. Early Bo Pelini Nebraska level. I don’t think the Domers will be able to score, and the MSU defense will either score or set up an easy score for Sparty that’ll be the difference. That said beware Sparty being Sparty.
Jon: I’m running late. This is quick. Michigan State 5, Notre Dame 3
Brian: Notre Dame can put more points on Michigan State’s D than Michigan State’s O can put on air. Irish here.
South Dakota State (+20) at Nebraska
Aaron: Game of the week. After all the crap from this past week, the coaches and players have had enough. Nebraska comes out guns blazing. There is a take no prisoners mentality that will drive them the rest of the year. No quarter. No mercy. No parley. No holding back any more. Punishment will commence at 2:30pm this Saturday in Memorial Stadium. There will be no survivors. The Dread Pirate Roberts has come for your soul. Nebraska 63, SDSU 13
Andy: Game of the week? Hmmmm. While I doubt ESPN will be leading with those highlights, I do agree with your assessment 110%, Aaron. A lot of guys will feel like they have something to prove, and, unfortunately, SDSU is the only team around to prove it against this week. BTW, StubHub’s showing about 1300 tickets available starting at $33. Let the hangover begin.
Huskers 52 SDSU 14
Nathaniel: Despite last week’s result, I am excited to see more of RK3 and TA4. I think they will get mostly equal reps throughout the game. Hopefully the running game picks up and play-calling will get back to basics for this game. The Huskers will come into this game with a chip on their shoulder and be looking to make a statement against the Jackrabbits. Huskers roll 55-17.
Cobby: AFTER THE 2010 GAME, I MET A HEFTY WOMAN WITH FLEXIBLE MORALS IN A JACKRABBIT SWEATSHIRT WHO DID COCAINE AND SWEATED A LOT. SHE SAID SHE CUT BRANCHES OFF OF POWER LINES FOR A LIVING. CHRIST, I HOPE SHE’S BACK THIS YEAR. I THINK I ACCIDENTALLY ATE HER PHONE NUMBER WHEN IT STUCK TO A CHALUPA THE NEXT NIGHT. HUSKERS 126 JACKRABBITS 0
Mister Mike: Believe it or not this is a hard game for me to pick. This is a perfect trap-type game for the Huskers. We’re playing one of the best FCS squads in the nation here. Despite our significant advantage over them athletically, this team has an identity, is better coached, and is more disciplined than our squad. Oh and they’re better than they were in 2010 (you know, the one Jack Rabbits team we only beat by 10 last time?) and we’re not better than we were then. Plus we’re most likely starting RK III and his bad knees. Maybe it sounds cliche` but I could see us losing this game just as much as I can see us rolling them into a tight ball and punting them back to South Dakota. I’ll say that Big Red gets the victory in the end, but we don’t cover the spread. Remember this name: Zach Zenner, because you will after the game. Huskers 38 Jack Rabbits 31.
David: We’ll likely get our first real look at a QB other than Taylor on Saturday. I’m kinda excited for that, actually. This team’s back is against the wall a bit, and it’s not really because of the UCLA loss. Their coach put them in a bad spot, even if he didn’t mean to, he did. How will they respond? These situations usually do one of two things, bring the team together or shatter them into small bits. I think for this week at least, they come together and we get an inspired effort vs. a well coached SDSU. Abdullah and Bell have big days. The defense rights the ship a bit. 41-17 Huskers.
Salt Creek: Thankfully, Perlman and Eichorst waited until Wednesday to decide Pelini is safe for now, so the team had a whole one day of practice to get their heads straight. All kidding aside, this should be a fun game seeing RK3 and TA2 teeing it up. Expect the offense to struggle at the outset. On the plus side, Tim Beck was already planning to slim down the playbook. Now he can target the plays that RK3 and TA2 can successfully execute (giggle). I’d expect to see a lot of option out of TA2 (SMOOTH) and a lot of deep passing for RK3 (seriously, the kid has an arm). Oh, and more than anything else, I expect Nebraska to lean heavily on our "Two Men and a Truck" triple-threat at RB. SDSU’s defense will be toast by the fourth quarter. King Frazier gets a touchdown.
Nebraska’s defense is a huge question mark. If they can shut down Zenner, Nebraska should pound SDSU. If Zenner gets loose, it could be a long day on the defense. I think the defense finds something in themselves though. This defense will be an entirely different unit by November, mark my words. (Oh, and SJB gets a pick-six and Gregory FINALLY gets a sack. A legit one. Without flags.)
And the Nebraska fans WILL show up and be loud and happy and friendly Saturday. They’ll get worried in the first quarter when the Jacks score the first TD of the game, but Nebraska gets rolling on the next drive and the game is never in doubt from then on. Nebraska 48, Jackrabbits 13
James: I’m so excited about this game because Tommy Armstrong will start. Much more interesting due to that. I’d be even more excited if Nebraska had a new coach too. But let’s be a little realistic here.
This team should legit scare Nebraska at home. They are well coached and play together. Nebraska has gaping holes on defense, and no starting QB from an attack that was stymied last week. Also this SDSU team had no problem putting 9 in the box against us not that long ago…
...but we have receivers and a passing game now. Nebraska rolls in this game. The Huskers will barely cover, but the game won’t even be as close as a 3 or 4 touchdown win makes it appear. Armstrong looks good, and there will be mildly ridiculous murmurings of a QB controversy.
Husker Mike: Yes, this is a pretty damn good 1-AA team. But this is a pretty damn good 1-AA team that lost to Kansas last year. Defense finds some mojo, and we’ll see how Tommy Armstrong looks. Huskers 38, Wabbits 10
Jon: Nebraska’s offense gets it going. Tommy Armstrong Jr and Ron Kellogg III both put up amazing numbers, and then everyone will be discussing how much better the team is being lead by both of them because we are all insane. You realize the last time these teams played we had to spend $40 on pay-per-view - at least this time we can all watch it on BTN. Nebraska 63, South Dakota State 24
Brian: We should see how well mentally the team responds to all the butter churning BS that has engulfed them the last week. If anything, I would think that it has helped them get a little more closed and concentrate on football more. Huskers win, of course. Dunno if they cover, but we win, go in the bye week, and then breathe a little bit. Because I think EVERYONE needs the bye week.