This is a sandwich of desperation.
This is a sandwich born out of walking into the house from work, somewhat tired and hungry, when the misses says "WE'VE GOT SOCCER/SCOUTS/BASEBALL/WHATEVER THE HELL AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE BOY/GIRL/PET TO IT IN FIVE MINUTES."
You think - "I'll make a sandwich".
There is no bread.
There is no mayonnaise. (HOW CAN WHITE PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS I ASK?)
There is no sliced cheese.
This is like war - improvisation and utilization of the resources around you.
Therefore you improvise.
- Ranch dressing
- Deli Slices of Delicious Dead Animal Meat
- Shredded Cheese
YOU DO THE FOLLOWING VERY QUICKLY IN EXACT ORDER:
Lay down a tortilla. (Six inch kind works best.)
Place a slice o' meat upon it. (Or two or three.)
Place some shredded cheese on top of that. (Not so much that it spills beyond the slice o' meat.)
Place another slice o' meet on top the cheese so that when you zap it it will hold together instead of falling out all over.
Place a dollop of ranch dressing (Spicy ranch is best. Or you can use hot sauce. TRY DIFFERENT THINGS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, DAMMIT).
Place in microwave for 30 seconds. (You can wrap it in a paper towel if you're feeling all fancy.)
Go to next event.
Those last two steps can be done simultaneously because it's not dangerous or anything.
Last: GET SOME MAYO, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!