Cobs of the Week: Wrong Way Parker, Jesse Palmer, Brett Maher, Iowegia, Colorado, Wisconsin, and Steve Pederson

Steve Pederson's football teams make their fans very sad. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-US PRESSWIRE

Yay! With college football season back, it's time to salute the worst of the week in college football! The entire CN gang gets together and nominates the worst performances of the week in college football. When we started out, we just considered the worst in the Big XII, but as conference realignment expanded our horizons, we decided to honor suckage wherever it manifests itself in college football. Why limit ourselves to just one conference?

Below, you'll find this week's nominees to be the "Cob of the Week!" Back in the Dan Hawkins era, this award seemed to be bestowed on Colorado every other week, or so it seems. But now that Colorado has a new conference home, far away from the Big Red, we don't hear as much about them. I guess they are in the Mountain West now, as near as I can tell.

At the end of the season, we'll take all of the winning nominees and determine the "Cob of the Year!" to honor the truly worst performance of the season. We're taking pity on Michigan this week; we kind of get the feeling that Alabama may make a lot of teams look cobby. Besides, there's a whole lot of suckage just waiting to be exposed!

This week's nominees are Kent State's Andre Parker, Nebraska's Brett Maher, Iowa, Colorado, Wisconsin, and our old friend, Steve Pederson!

Andre Parker, Kent State

Move over, Roy Riegels...Parker joins you in the hall of shame for football blunders. Parker recovered a muffed punt, but forgot which way the Flashes were going...and headed for his own end zone. The Towson players went ahead and chased him anyway, just in case...and tackled him after a 60 yard loss. It all ended up as moot; you can't advance (regress?) a muffed punt, so Kent State got the ball back where Parker's brain cramp set in.

Jesse Palmer

He said during the ESPN preseason roundtable that Taylor Martinez regressed last year and is holding his team back, and didn't even consider that he could improve...well Saturday, he must have felt pretty stupid. He even said Taylor looked like a Heisman candidate and a first round pick. Meanwhile, someone at the Worldwide Leader yanked the video to destroy the evidence. Get some you cob!

Brett Maher

Hate to be harsh on the guy (kicking a 40+ yard field goal in front of 85,000 people is no easy feat) ...but he got a scholarship, has preseason all-american hype...and then goes out an chokes big time in a nationally televised season opener. He's got to learn how to refocus after a mistake. He didn't make many mistakes last year, so it will be interesting to see if he can bounce back.


The Hawkeyes stunk up the Windy City, needing a last minute touchdown to escape Northern Illinois. Well, Northern Illinois did win the Go Daddy! Bowl last year...but still, it's almost a Cob ritual to make fun of the inept black and gold team on our schedule.


Speaking of inept black and gold teams, we just can't quit the Buffies when it's time for the Cob. Yep, the Puffaloes lost to fellow Mountain West conference rival Colorado State 22-17. One of these days, Colorado program will progress to the point where they can proudly be regarded as a mediocre mid-major football program. I think Jon Embree might eventually get them there.


Nice work narrowly missing out on embarrassing the B1G against 1-AA Northern Iowa. I thought it was just Minnesota and Michigan who did that in the Big Ten.

Steve Pederson

That $400,000 Pederson spent to bring in 1-AA Youngstown State to slap his Pitt football team around Heinz Field is the second best investment Pederson ever made. Right behind giving Bill Callahan a contract extension.

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