"I've already done you! Tell that guy over there to come over here so I can scream at him, too!" - Pelini loves new blood on which to try his act.
"I am so psyched!!!!!" were the words from Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini as he boarded a plane heading to Chicago for the upcoming Big Ten Media Days.
A Nebraska athletic department insider personally known to Corn Nation said that the football team's depth and improved comfort level in the Big Ten Conference aren't the only reasons Pelini is so "psyched" about the season.
Said our insider, "He's really excited because the Big Ten has hired a fair number of referees that he'll get to scream at for the first time again this season."
"It's like a whole new experience all over again for him. It gets boring for him to scream at the same guys every season. It's about trying different face gestures, different grimaces to so what kinds of reactions he gets. It's almost like he's an artist."
Studies conducted by the Husker athletic department showed Pelini screaming at referees as only 73% of the time. Another 26% of Pelini photos were of him screaming at quarterback Taylor Martinez during the 2010 Texas A&M game, while the remaining 1% included photos of him at the 2011 Penn State postgame press conference.
Pelini was disappointed in the study, indicating that the photos of him screaming at Martinez from two years ago were dated. Although he's been warned by Tom Osborne and Harvey Perlman about screaming at Husker players during games as they're being broadcast, Pelini thought he had had some damned good glares at Husker players from last season that were completely ignored.
Pelini's biggest hope was that there would be a couple of the new referees at Media Days so all the Big Ten media outlets could get photos of him screaming at them.
"He's rather bored of glaring at Nebraska's media, so I doubt that'll happen. And he'd rather save screaming at other team's beat reporters for a time at which they actually deserve it."
Our informant concluded, "The last resort would be to strangle one of the Omaha guys, probably Lee Barfknecht or Dirk Chatelain, until their eyes bug out, but like I said that's a last resort."
"The fans may want to see that, but other media outlets won't care, and since the real goal is to freshen Pelini's image, it probably won't happen.