Infinite Monkeys To Spend 2012 Nebraska Off Season Writing Taylor Martinez Stories

by Cobby on Feb 21, 2012 11:01 AM CST in Cobby - Humor

We couldn't help but notice a consistent theme lately to Nebraska's offseason storyline recently. Many Taylor Martinez stories are being written and by our way of thinking way too many to have all been done by humans.

"Ha, so you noticed!"

So said good friend Martin Lennon, the Director of Infinite Monkey Excrement at the Infinite Monkey Foundation.

"They sense a theme and they run with it. I know it looks like they get stuck in a rut, but they're just running through different permutations of the same thing."

In this case, Lennon said, the theme is that Nebraska will never win consistently as long as Martinez remains the starting quarterback.

We asked Lennon if maybe the monkeys could write something else about Nebraska football during the offseason.

"They could, but why? No one cares that the offensive line wasn't that good, the defense couldn't stop anyone and the receivers couldn't catch the ball consistently. People need someone to blame. Even monkeys understand that."

And with that Lennon was off, he said, to review 343,123 stories about Jeremy Lin's Asian heritage.

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Comments

This is silly.

Everyone knows Taylor is transferring now that Nebraska can’t provide the recommended textbooks for classes.

That’s why he came here in the first place.

Play for the love of the game. A Cornhusker through feast or famine. That's the Nebraska way.

by Salt Creek and Stadium on Feb 21, 2012 11:31 AM CST reply actions

Martinez is

our QB next year like it or not. I said it before if he improves as much this off season as he did last off season things should be pretty good. We are just going to have to accept he will never be a Zac Taylor or Joe Ganz type of passer. But they couldn’t run like Martinez. I just expect to see more improvement this year on offense in general. Especially in the turnover category. That is a major problem we have on offense that nobody seems to want to talk about. That problem has to get fixed if we want to contend for a division title, Big 10 title, BCS game, or national title. Fumbles cost us two games for sure last year and a 11 win season is sooooo much better than a 9 win season. Anyway, I hope they are working on that area a little extra. If someone is better and just beats you that you can live with. But when you beat yourself that is extremely frustrating.

by Huzkerfan on Feb 21, 2012 4:11 PM CST reply actions