Bo Pelini Threatens Bubba Starling, The Poky Little Puppy, Vladimir Putin And A Beer

by Cobby on Aug 8, 2011 1:30 PM CDT in Cobby - Humor

Did you hear the latest!!!!!

Bo Pelini lost his cool and threatened Bubba Starling! I know it's true because Peter Gammon tweeted it, and then Dirk Chatelain mentioned it including the fact that Peter Gammon is a world class reporter, meaning that he certainly wouldn't get anything wrong or do anything on hearsay or just because his twitter account doesn't have many followers or because the Kansas City Royals have millions at stake.

It's totally believable, too! "Bo Pelini Threatens" is a commonly used phrase everywhere by now just because Bo Pelini is threatening in much the same way that Chuck Norris kicks ass.

It's not a good day until Bo Pelini has threaten something. Sometimes it's not a good day until he's threatened more than once. On the day we followed him, it was a very good day!

Bo Pelini: HEY! You, kid that stands to make millions of dollars by choosing to not play for my program. Uh... stop smiling so much!

Bubba Starling: I'm sorry, coach. What? I was on the phone with Scott Boras.

Later that same morning.... Bo just happened to cross paths with the Poky Little Puppy.....

How Could Bo Pelini Threaten This Cute Little Guy? What a Meanie!

Bo Pelini: HEY! Stay the hell outta my way, Poky Little Puppy, or I'll crush you like a bug.

Whimper, whimper, whimper went the Pokey Little Puppy and got out of Bo Pelini's way.

Just before lunch, Bo Pelini called up the Prime Minister of Russia, Vladimir Putin, and told him all about what he's supposed to be doing in the Middle East.

Bo Pelini: Vladimir Putin, I am Bo Pelini, head coach of the Nebraska football program. Get your ass in gear and help out those demonstrators in Syria or I'll drop you like a three foot putt!

Vladimir Putin: Uh... what is a Nebraska?

The rest of the day wasn't too bad. Bo Pelini was in reasonably good spirits, but mostly people stayed out of his way. Until that evening, when he went to grab a beer out of his garage fridge.

Bo Pelini: GRRRRRRRRRRR.... this beer isn't cold enough. GET COLDER BEER! Or I'll pour you out on the ground and your existence will be wasted!

Beer: SWWTWWHAACK!!!! went the whole case of Coors Light, turning the mountains blue. Sadly, the garage fridge gave up and quietly died.

Wow. What a day for Bo Pelini. And that's just in one day.

Have you seen Bo Pelini threaten anything or anyone lately?

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Comments

Peter Gammons rumors = 2.7% accuracy

Bo even stated a few days ago that he knew this was the deal all along.

Gammons has been under the illusion that he’s an actual “insider” for many years, when in reality, he’s a boob that agents and teams alike know they can whisper any crap in his ear that they want thrown out in public for their purposes & he’ll tweet it or broadcast it as secret info that only he is privy too.

If Gammons is reporting it, then either KC or Boras wants to spice it up & whispered the story in his ear. No idea why. For Gammons, it’s much easier to tweet away as an insider than investigate the rumors he’s tossed.

by Andy Ketterson on Aug 8, 2011 3:12 PM CDT reply actions

I think Husker Mike nailed it

With his post – Gammons probably heard about Starling not practicing or being on the 105-man roster until he makes a decision and misinterpreted that as “going off” or “threatening.”

It’s always possible that Pelini threatened Starling, but it makes zero sense that Gammons would be only one who knew in that case. Boras wouldn’t tell him that – it hurts his all-important leverage. KC might want to tell him something like that, but how the heck would they know in the first place? Unless it’s confirmed somewhere else, I don’t buy it.

by Cheeseandcorn on Aug 8, 2011 3:21 PM CDT up reply actions