I once stood in front of my high school math class and said "Kotex" when I meant to say "cotangent", causing the room to explode with laughter while I wondered what had just happened. I was nervous enough that I hadn't realized I'd actually said "Kotex", but I was reminded about it for years, leaving me with yet another emotional scar to take out on all of you sunsabitches. (So if this web sites's content bothers you sometimes, blame all them people who went to Medicine Valley High. I know I do.) 

Given that, I can't imagine what it'd be like to be Bubba Starling right now. 

I mean, seriously, dissect every word he says until August? 

My advice for Starling? Become like Old MC - one catchphrase repeated constantly whenever in public. And don't ever discuss geometry. Ever. 

I'd consider giving the same advice to Bo Pelini, but I don't want to be the guy that gets blamed for him saying PULL MY FINGER every time he confronts the media.