Kenny Bell Gonna Slap Your Face! (It's About Technique)

by Cobby on Oct 6, 2011 7:02 AM CDT in Cobby - Humor

Yesterday on twitter, wide receiver Kenny Bell made it clear that he'd had enough of fans saying (apparently bad) things to him about Taylor Martinez:

KENNY! KENNY! What are you thinking, man?

That's no way to behave, man! You can't go through life slappin' people's faces when they make you angry.

But if you do, we'd like to at least give you some good examples of technique:

To be used if you're confronted by the kind of whiny, "all about me" guy probably named Joffrey, particularly effective if you're really serious about the 'no warning" thing:

Then there's the always classic and harsh "What Did The Five Fingers Say to the Face?", although it comes with somewhat of a warning, it could be taken as a really bad joke.

Then there's my personal favorite. Screaming at someone in a completely unintelligible language while repeatedly slapping them. Notice the graceful forehand and backhand technique. It not only leaves them stunned and confused by the slapping, but by the fact they can't understand a word you're saying. Extra points if you're dressed as an Indian woman.

For extra credit, see Donnie Yen and how to deal with someone when they've thrown a liquid in your face. (Sorry, embedded disabled unfortunately.)

If you're a Husker fan and you're looking for some extra credit, please just realize that we're not Penn State.

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A pudgy guy in a yellow shirt crossed Kenny...

and this is what he got.

"Not the victory but the action; Not the goal but the game;
In the deed the glory"

GO BIG RED!

by Brian Speers on Oct 6, 2011 7:24 AM CDT reply actions

Memo To Kenny Bell

Heed the words of Don Vito:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5m4jpUyb-g&feature=related

Or Jason Peter on “Unsportsmanlike Conduct” yesterday on 1620 The Zone:

“just shut up and play football”

Paddle faster, I hear banjos!!

by Section 37 on Oct 6, 2011 9:26 AM CDT reply actions

Hey, remember how we were admonishing each other for over-reacting?

I don’t think provoking players to drop to our level is in our best interest.

A Cornhusker through feast or famine. Get up, dust yourself off and run the ball. That's the Nebraska way.

by Salt Creek and Stadium on Oct 6, 2011 10:28 AM CDT reply actions

I'm Rick James, bitch!

Seven years later, it still makes me laugh even though I know pretty much every word in that sketch.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

by Brizzle T on Oct 6, 2011 11:52 AM CDT reply actions

I do appreciate that the team is rallying around Martinez though

How can that be anything but a good sign?

"My hardest job is to convince the people of Nebraska that 10-1 is not a losing season." - Tom Osborne

by jdhusker on Oct 6, 2011 12:10 PM CDT reply actions

Yes but...

It’s just too bad they’re having to rally around him for the childish actions of a group of so called Husker “fans”. I’m not including most of the true fans that frequent Corn Nation in this comment.

I want Martinez and the rest of the team to know we have their backs and I for one will be there this Saturday to proudly cheer them on.

by HuskerDad on Oct 6, 2011 12:21 PM CDT up reply actions

Agreed

I’m starting to think part of Husker Nation has (to borrow a political term) “Martinez Derangement Syndrome.” Basically whenever he’s involved in anything, it’s his fault when something goes wrong and even if something does go right credit is either given to another player or is written off as a fluke.

I mean seriously any rational fan who has a decent understanding of the game should know that the Wisconsin debacle was nowhere close to Martinez’s fault. Did he make some mistakes? Absolutely. But he wasn’t the one who made our defense suck and he wasn’t the one calling for the offense to go all pass happy.

I’m willing to give everyone on the team a pass for last week (we’ve got several rookie coaches, a lot of rookie players, combined with a tough road environment and a great opponent, well you do the math) AS LONG as we see the mistakes that were made last Saturday get cleaned up this (and all subsequent) weekends.

"My hardest job is to convince the people of Nebraska that 10-1 is not a losing season." - Tom Osborne

by jdhusker on Oct 6, 2011 4:48 PM CDT up reply actions

My god...

Why does every single thing have to get so blown out of proportion, each and every year, with Husker fans, coaches, players, rumors…etc.

#sick of it

^ I used the pound sign so I could fit i with all the cool TweeterTwatter kids, even though I don’t know what it actually means or does.

by SteveW0720 on Oct 6, 2011 12:35 PM CDT reply actions

Dude, nobody calls it a pound sign any more.

It’s a hashtag. Jeez, get your terminology right.

#SaysTheKidWithoutATwitterAccount

Go Suns, Packers, Jays, and Huskers!

Green Bay Packers: Super Bowl XLV Champions!!!!

I also edit things at Ridiculous Upside. Check it out.

by Omaha Sun on Oct 6, 2011 1:59 PM CDT up reply actions

I won't say anything about lawns.

But I think those young adolescents should consider removing themselves from the horticultural paradise that rings my abode.

A Cornhusker through feast or famine. Get up, dust yourself off and run the ball. That's the Nebraska way.

by Salt Creek and Stadium on Oct 6, 2011 2:33 PM CDT up reply actions

Stop pretending

you’re old, you student you.

They're 18 to 22...how perfect were you at that age?
The Power of Red begins with the Passion of Walk-Ons.

by redvalley on Oct 6, 2011 7:23 PM CDT up reply actions

Achievement unlocked!

And I’m the youngest grad student in my lab!

A Cornhusker through feast or famine. Get up, dust yourself off and run the ball. That's the Nebraska way.

by Salt Creek and Stadium on Oct 6, 2011 7:56 PM CDT up reply actions

I like to

see the team support their man and wouldn’t expect anything else. But, instead of tweeting or talking about it why don’t you make a play on the field and bail him out once in a while. Recievers run better routs and don’t drop balls, RB’s pick up blitzs better, O-line could block better, there is enough blame to go around. Oh ya, the defense should worship Taylor for taking all the heat this week because they should be sharing in this sorrow. I guess we could say it was a team effort. That being said I called out the crowd after the Fresno State game as well. I was a part of it and was a little ashamed of how quiet it was. So I guess all the way around we could step up.