The Corn Nation BCS Review - Week 9



It was actually a busy little week in the BCS standings thanks to losses by two of the top 6 performers. Wisconsin lost a Hail Mary heartbreaker to the scrappy Spartans who may have actually been aided by the absence of William Gholston - they managed 3 sacks of Russell Wilson and played penalty-free football. Meanwhile, the Okies were spending most of the evening against Texas Tech tooling about as if the Red Raiders large, early lead was a mere annoyance that would work itself out - sort of like wiggling around on a barstool for 3 hours instead of just standing up and pulling the wedgie out of one's crack.

However, by the time OU stood up, the rash had already spread and their late charge came up 3 points short at 41-38. Travis Lewis received a return application from Eric Martin leading to the possibility of future NU/OU tilts in Conference USA. There was squawking from indignant Badger fans as Wiscy fell to 15th while the Sooners just dropped to 9th. Sorry, guys, that whole UNLV, Northern Illinois, Indiana & South Dakota thing left the laptops wholly unimpressed. Yes, Michigan St is better than Texas Tech, but the whole body of work thing put you in free fall.

Let's take a look at the new look BCS:

THE GOLD STANDARD

#1 LSU

The Tigers delivered a wholly expected beatdown to Auburn despite the suspension of the Honey Badger and friends. Someday, I'll have to take the time to Google synthetic marijuana, but for now it sounds like something Starbuck would grow in her locker on Galactica. The luck of the retard that caused Auburn to be 5-2 ranked #20 in stead of 2-5 or 3-4 works in LSU's favor as this appears to a computer to be a quality win.

#2 Alabama

The Tide farted around a bit with the other Dooley's squad before blowing Tennessee out in the 2nd half. The Vols actually did a quality job of containing Trent Richardson, but were outgained 280-41 in the 2nd half nonetheless. The fact that the Tennessee name still sounds impressive is enough to keep their crappy 1st half from dissuading pollsters and computers that the Tide is still America's #2.


THE IMPOSTERS

#3 Oklahoma St.

The Cowboys put a whoopin' on Missouri, but to their credit, the Tigers are probably better than their 3-4 record would indicate. Playing four ranked teams in five weeks can have that effect. In a related story, the athletic directors at Vanderbilt and Kentucky experienced their first erections in 6 years.
But seriously, a team that is 65th in the country in points allowed will not make a BCS title game of things with the winner of the LSU/Alabama game to come, even if they do manage to run the table and beat Oklahoma.
Which they won't.

#4 Boise St.

Defeated Air Force and their 113th nationally ranked defense 37-26 in decidely un #4-like fashion. Boise supporters then shrieked loudly about Georgia's 5 point win over Vanderbilt and impressive practices in their bye week. Computers continue to punish schools like Wisconsin with kinda crappy schedules while ignoring Boise's utterly shitty one. My dream of watching them lose to 'Bama by 48 grows more realistic as each New Mexico-ish squad falls.


C'MON. SERIOUSLY?

#5 Clemson

Running roughshod in the ACC aka the Some of Us Used To Be Da' Bomb Conference. Georgia Tech & South Carolina loom as the last real threats and one should put a stop to this. Sorry, boys, you lost me at 56-45 vs. Maryland.


MY PERSONAL #3 & #4 - ELIMINATION GAME COMING 11/12

#6 Stanford

They haven't played the world's strongest schedule, but going by Boise logic, this is completely irrelevant. But seriously, I'm pulling a complete 360 from last week and becoming very interested in these guys. When a player is overhyped and media tongue-kissed Gary Danielson style like Andrew Luck is this year, he and his team tend to get on my bad side quick. However, with a finishing run of USC, Oregon & Notre Dame, they receive a few tests without things becoming brutal. They are currently #4 nationally in points scored and #2 in fewest points allowed. If they take out Oregon, the BCS leapfrogging will commence.

#7 Oregon

I told you last week that this is the one loss team to watch. And last week they quietly hopped three spots jumping Arkansas as well as the two losers above. They are still lighting up the scoreboard, wearing Starship Trooper unis and playing with swagger. So here's a way too early scenario: LSU vs. Bama eliminates one team, neither Clemson or Okie St. can run the table (likely), and the voters once again come to a late realization that Boise has played no one allowing the Ducks to deservedly leapfrog them. Guess who's #2 now.


IT's 1:48 AM. LAST CALL IS IMMINENT

#8 Kansas St.

Next four games - Oklahoma, Oklahoma St., Texas A&M, Texas. Thanks for playing.

#9 Oklahoma

Kansas St., Texas A&M, Baylor and Okie St. remain, so the strength of schedule is there for a major rise, but they'll need more help than the others.

#10 Arkansas

Proud SEC West member. Sorry.


GO BIG RED!

#14 Nebraska

The Minnesota rout was basically over by halftime, but the crappy 2nd half is probably a good thing since it gives the coaches a reason to play the "Spartans will MURDER you if you play that way this week!!" card. Wait, what?

Oh, sorry, this isn't the NU/MSU preview article, it's the BCS review. We're not playing in the BCS title game this year.

See you next week.

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