Five Reasons Nebraska Will Lose To South Dakota State

by Jon Johnston on Sep 24, 2010 9:13 AM CDT in Nebraska Husker Football

Last week's "Five Reasons Nebraska Will Lose" article was amazingly popular with Husker fans, so amazingly popular (think - like ice cream!) that I've decided to do it again. I received so many congratulatory emails from Husker fans the past few days that I've decided maybe it should become a regular feature here at CN.

My favorite:

You are a clueless idiot.

Simple, direct, wonderful. One thing, though - if you think I'm a clueless idiot, don't wait until after the game to let me know. You can let me know at any time!

On to the reasons Nebraska will lose to South Dakota State!

1. The Dakotas are ruling the FBS schools. North Dakota State won at Kansas, 6-3, spoiling Turner Gill's debut. South Dakota beats Minnesota, 41-38, spoiling Tim Brewster's job. What's next? A South Dakota State win over Nebraska.

2. In a horrible miscalculation, South Dakota State's Jackrabbit Boys begins their "wild rumpus show" on Nebraska's first offensive possession instead of waiting until halftime, trampling the Huskers' entire starting offensive unit.

Husker second-stringers try to carry on, but are too stunned by the carnage to score. South Dakota State wins on a last-second field goal, 3-0.

Artist's Rendering of Impending Doom Upon Cornhusker Starters

3. You ever tried to catch a jackrabbit? (and by catch, I don't mean run over with your truck, or shoot and then walk over and pick it up)

No? ‘Nuff said.

4. Every super hero has a special power. It's obvious that Taylor Martinez' special power is speed. Every hero also has a weakness. This weekend we discover Martinez' weakness is rabbits. Eight turnovers = Iowa State 2009, Husker Nation weeps.

5. The ghost of Steve Pederson's life in Nebraska demands it. As he was leaving Nebraska for the last time in his life, Pederson peered into the rear view mirror and uttered a curse that the Huskers would lose the game they most desired. You thought it was last year's Big 12 Championship? No, it wasn't on Nebraska soil. This one is.

6. South Dakota. More nukes than Iran. #justsayin

7. During his "Jackrabbit Journey", Casey Hillman had a vision of South Dakota rising up in national influence. This is the first step in that vision. Next step? The mass migration of small business to South Dakota, where there is no personal income tax. If they can't build their own football players, they'll just immigrate them.

Wait... five reasons....... and I didn't even mention jackalopes. Maybe I'll save that for later.

Tweet Comment 17 comments | 2 recs |

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Comments

Oh man, can you imagine if we lost to them? That would be horrible! All the recent FCS upsets do make me a bit nervous, especially if the team goes out unprepared and soft after last week’s win…but luckily Bo Pelini will have none of that, and I’m sure he has them ready to play at the top of their game.

by Billgrip on Sep 24, 2010 10:16 AM CDT reply actions

I concur

You ARE a clueless idiot.

by skerz07 on Sep 24, 2010 10:27 AM CDT reply actions

In a dream, General.

Dude there is no way this will happen. Bo doesn’t allow shit like this.

by ACRanger on Sep 24, 2010 10:36 AM CDT reply actions

I agree

No f*cking way Nebraska has an issue with SDSU, let alone, lose to them. Just won’t happen. Looking at the depth charts, the size and speed difference is ridiculous, those are just the tangeables. Add to that coaching and talent and you have the makings of a 50-0 scre at the half.

Hey, at least we will get to see “Cody Green the Turnover Machine”.

by HerpieHusker on Sep 24, 2010 10:43 AM CDT up reply actions

What are you f*cking thinking now there GENIUS!

by anti-husker on Sep 25, 2010 9:29 PM CDT up reply actions

Now I'm thinking...

I was way off and I stand corrected by the coaches, staff, and players of SDSU.

And, oh yeah, I’m also thinking you can blow me. Good day, sir. =)

by HerpieHusker on Sep 25, 2010 11:24 PM CDT up reply actions

First I aint no sir

And second…come on – are you sure about that 50 – 0 halftime score? All that talent? Um, 1AA running puts a buck on you and you have NONE, count them 0 backs over 3/4 buck? that’s talent? No , that is not playing anyone!

by anti-husker on Sep 26, 2010 8:38 AM CDT up reply actions

I swore there was going to be a Chuck Norris reference somewhere in there. =)

by HerpieHusker on Sep 24, 2010 10:40 AM CDT reply actions

Rec

I love the picture.

by Omaha Sun on Sep 24, 2010 12:43 PM CDT reply actions

I love it, It must be fun to write this type of article with out busting a gut. Funny stuff, good job. I guess most people don’t look at like I do.

Donald Ray Hammond Sr.

by drayflyer@yahoo.com on Sep 24, 2010 7:07 PM CDT reply actions

I have to agree

this is funny, and i’m from SoDak. but not too worried about this game,,BUT you just never know!!! Oh yea,,,Jackalope season starts next weekend,,them wascally wabbits!!! Limit 1 per day cause they’re so damned hard to find!

Matthew 11:28-30
Homer Simpson: "Mmmmm,Beeeeer!!"
Dean Wermer: "Fat,drunk,and stupid is no way to go through life!"
Complacency is the enemy of progress!

by sd.husker on Sep 24, 2010 7:46 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Matthew 11:28-30
Homer Simpson: "Mmmmm,Beeeeer!!"
Dean Wermer: "Fat,drunk,and stupid is no way to go through life!"
Complacency is the enemy of progress!

by sd.husker on Sep 24, 2010 7:48 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Do these things really exist?

I’d ask my 5 year old, as she is the animal expert in our household..but she’s too busy watching a skinny black hi-hop guy sing raps songs with robots.

Forgive me, I’m from the city. But I’ve seen these in my nightmares!!!! I though they were just fantasy.

"Not the victory but the action; Not the goal but the game;
In the deed the glory"

GO BIG RED!

by Brian Speers on Sep 25, 2010 8:16 AM CDT up reply actions