Come To Nebraska And We'll Give You Our Daughters

by Cobby on Feb 2, 2010 8:27 AM CST in Cobby - Humor

Beck had offers from Florida, Miami, Florida State and plenty of other schools across the country before committing to Nebraska. Once committed, Beck said a few dozen fans would show up to his high school games in Cornhuskers shirts asking for autographs, offering to cook him meals - some even offering to introduce him to their daughters.

Who does this? Who is it that would walk up to a new Husker recruit and offer up their daughter?

Is their daughter with them when this happens, and if she is, what does she think about it? Is this a thrill for the daughter, or is this something that happens every season - their dad driving around the nation, daughter in tow, going into a high school somewhere just after signing day.

INT - FLORIDA HIGH SCHOOL - LATE MORNING

DADDY and AMY are nearly bouncing with excitement as they've arrived at a Florida high school to meet HUSKER RECRUIT. DADDY is dressed in full red Husker gear, while Amy is wearing something resembling a Husker cheerleader uniform from the 80s. HUSKER RECRUIT approaches the school's information desk with no idea of what awaits him.

HUSKER RECRUIT
They told me a Nebraska coach was wanting to see me?

DADDY

(sticks out hand to greet Husker Recruit)
Well, I'm not really a Nebraska coach, but I am a really big Husker fan. Now that you're going to be a Husker, I'm a big fan of yours, too. I just wanted you to meet my daughter.

AMY

(giggling, puts out hand)

Hi!

HUSKER RECRUIT

(apprehensively returns Amy's greeting, shaking her hand. )

Nice to meet you, Amy.

AMY

(continues to hold onto Husker Recruit's hand, fetching look)

So, you're a quarterback?

HUSKER RECRUIT

Yeah, at least in high school. I might get switched to defense at Nebraska.

AMY

That's nice. The last three guys Daddy introduced me to were linemen. I guess daddy decided to try something different this year.

HUSKER RECRUIT

(startled, yanking hand away and stepping back)

The last... three?

AMY

Yeah. Daddy has me meet Husker recruits every year. He's sure some day one of them will fall in love with me and he'll get to say that his daughter is going out with someone on the football team.

HUSKER RECRUIT

Uh..... I probably should be going to my next class.

AMY

Oh, stay just a bit. It's been years since I've met a quarterback.

HUSKER RECRUIT

Years?. uh..... don't you think you're a little old for this? For me?

DADDY

She can cook. Oh, how she can cook. She makes a mean goulash.

HUSKER RECRUIT

No, I really have to go now.

Husker recruit turns and runs away down hall away from Amy and Daddy.

AMY

(loudly)

Nice to meet you. I'll look you up when you're in Lincoln.

INT - CAR DRIVING DOWN FLORIDA HIGHWAY

AMY is in the passenger's seat next to DADDY. She's sitting a little closer to him than a normal passenger would. Amy looks blissfully happy while Daddy has the eyes of a man concentrated on a mission. He's looking down at a road map while glancing up at the road.

AMY

Daddy, maybe next time don't bring up the goulash. You scared him away.

DADDY

I'm sorry, sweetie. I forgot people in the South don't know what goulash is.

AMY

Where are we going now?

DADDY

There's a defensive lineman in Missouri that looks like a really nice young guy.

AMY

(excited)

Oh, that's great! I always seem to do better with linemen.

DADDY

Yes you do, honey. Maybe this will be the one.

Tweet Comment 3 comments | 1 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Maybe she should have

Introduced him to Runzas. God knows, they are the best food on earth.

"Not the victory but the action; Not the goal but the game;
In the deed the glory"

GO BIG RED!

by Brian Speers on Feb 2, 2010 9:49 AM CST reply actions

Holy Lord!

I had no idea our state was in so much financial trouble. I guess this new state motto will help generate some revenue. That’s what this article was about, right? I only read the headline.

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!

-- Bill Hicks, on being censored from "The Late Show with David Letterman"

by OmahaCub on Feb 2, 2010 4:12 PM CST reply actions