So we get to play Washington again. For your reading pleasure, I have managed to get a copy of the conference call that included Commissioner Dan Beebe, Insight/Fiesta Bowl officials and Holiday Bowl officials.
Dan Beebe (DB): Thank you your time. We have some very important business to discuss.
Insight Committee (IC): np.
Holiday Bowl Committee (HC): Good to be here. We are incredibly excited to invite a most deserving Oklahoma State team to San Diego.
DB: Yea, about that. I think we are going to send them to San Antonio for the Alamo Bowl.
HC: Really? But that means we get stuck with Missouri. None of their fans travel! The stadium will be empty! We'll have to take Arizona (who has lost 4 in a row) or Washington (who just scrapped by with 6 wins). We can't take Missouri!
DB: Not a problem. We've got that all worked.
IC: I can't believe we get such a great game! Nebraska and Iowa fell into our laps! Think of the story lines! Potential Big 10 rivalry game. Maybe they will even start their trophy game this year!
DB: Yea, about that. We don't want commentators talking Big 10 for three-and-a-half hours. We don't want you to take Nebraska-Iowa.
IC: WHAT! We finally move up the pecking order and get a real game and you are cock-blocking us! WTF!
DB: Now now, don't see it that way. We have to protect our brand.
IC: So do we!
DB: Calm down Insight. You do realize that we are losing two teams next year right?
DB: You also realize that we will probably have to cut some of our bowl tie-ins right?
IC: Huh?! Are you saying what I think you are saying?
DB: No no. We like our partnership with the Insight Bowl, but we can't have Nebraska-Iowa. We want you to take Missouri.
IC: Missouri! NO. This is unfair.
HC: Heh. Sweet, we don't get Missouri.
IC: We finally move up in the selection process and now we are getting hosed over! How can you do this to us!
DB: Listen, I'll make it up to you. We'll make sure we keep you around in our bowl rotation and we might even give you a better pick somewhere down the road, but you need to take Missouri.
IC: This is the worst day of my life. It makes no sense!
HC: Well, I just heard that the Alamo Bowl picked up Arizona, that means we get Washington. So who's our Big XII team?
DB: You get Nebraska, Holiday.
HC: Wait what? But they already played this year. They play next year too. Nebraska kicked the crap outta Washington earlier this year. No one is gonna show for the game!
DB: Husker fans will show, they always do. Besides we still hadn't given them their official "kick-in-the-crotch" for leaving yet. This will do.
HC: Oh, so now we are relegated to PoS bowl?
DB: No no. Hey you should at least fill your stadium. Husky fans haven't been to a bowl in 8 years. They'll come.
HC: Not if they are gonna get another ass-whoppin' by Nebraska. This is stupid Dan. You know what, we want Missouri after all. Missouri-Washington, at least there's a possibility of a good game there.
DB: Sorry it's going to be this way. Deal with it. Nebraska-Washington in the Holiday Bowl. Iowa-Missouri in the Insight Bowl.
Afterwards, the Insight Bowl Committee and Holiday Bowl Committee were seen at the local bar.