Dan Hawkins Proves Himself A Fool While Cody Hawkins Orbits Pluto

I want to say that last night Colorado got embarrassed and humiliated in Toledo, Ohio, but somehow those two words don't seem strong enough as the Buffaloes were destroyed by the Rockets 54-38. Any Husker fan watching the game had to be reminded of Nebraska's meltdown in 2007. Unfortunately for the Buffs, this one is different. Nebraska at least had an offense in 2007. Colorado's high level of suck was apparent on both sides of the ball. 

Stats show only three sacks by the Rockets, but Cody Hawkins was running for his life most of the night. The Colorado offensive line looked as if they couldn't block a junior high team and Hawkins was battered throughout the game. Coach Dan Hawkins kept the younger Hawkins in the entire game, apparently hoping to keep Tyler Hansen's redshirt intact. After a while it became painful to watch, bordering on abuse.

That border was crossed when near the end of the game (and when the only people left watching were those involved in Ralphie Report's open game thread), Cody Hawkins took off running for the end zone and was speared by Toledo linebacker Archie Donald as he crossed the goal line. The collision sent Hawkin's helmet flying and his consciousness into orbit around Pluto. 

Donald was flagged for the helmet-to-helmet collision and Toledo stadium crew responded by playing "Hurts So Good" by John Cougar Mellencamp a few minutes later, proving that the cliche' "stay classy" applies only when you have some in the first place. 

After the game the Buffaloes dug deep into their Trivia for Losers guide, Dan Hawkins coming up with "It's real easy to be a critic. It's real easy to be a quitter." Colorado players responded with the usual "We're behind our coach", proving that Stockhom syndrome affects football players. CU Athletic Director Mike Bohn babbled some gobbledygook about establishing a foundation and managed to blame Gary Barnett, proving that he flew to Pluto to check on Cody Hawkins. Or perhaps he can't face the fact that he's stuck with Dan Hawkins because the CU athletic department doesn't have enough money for any other options. 

You'd think as a Husker fan I'd find some joy in gloating over how lost the Buffaloes looked last night, but I don't. I'd rather our Huskers beat Colorado when they're good - when Buffalo fans still give a damn about their team so that it hurts more when they lose to us. At this rate, "Buffalo fans" will become an oxymoron by mid-season (if they bother to wait that long). 

What Dan Hawkins proved was that somewhere between building Boise State into a national power and last night he turned into a fool. Hawkins says the right things but when your team has so little confidence that they're playing at half speed and your son ends up being damned near killed, it's time to admit things aren't working. 

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