I was having lunch with my dear friend Nebraska this week when an "old friend" happened by......

Hey, Nebraska! How you doing, sweetheart! You look great! As wonderful as ever!!! 

Barry! Oh, it's so good to see you! 

 I miss the times we had together. Wish we could see each other more often! (sees Tom Obsorne and quickly saunters off after him). Don't you ever change! (wink)

 That's a little disgusting.

What?

Barry Switzer?

He's always so nice to me. He's a really sweet man. He's aged well, too (fetching). You're just jealous. 

 Jealous that I can't get away with that much bullshit. Amazing he's not a politician. 

 Oh, he's not that bad. 

What are you talking about? The guy was a cheater. He cheated all of the time. He cheated so much they ran him out of college football and here you are eating candy out of his hand and pretending you're back in 1982. 

 He says nice things about me. He tells me how much respect he always had for me and how hard it was to win. 

He's not nice to you. He was never nice to you. He ruined so many holidays.... even in 1978 when you finally had a decent Thanksgiving, he turned around and ruined New Years. 

 We put on some great shows together! Since the Big 12 came along it's never been the same! 

 Yeah, but it's been what, 12 years?Maybe you should accept the fact that time has moved on. But you can't do that, can you, because you're still in love with Oklahoma. The problem is, it's not based on reality, it's based on a concept. An idea. You're in love with what you used to have and since it's been so long, you've romanticized it to the point that no one else will ever be good enough.

 No one else..... like???? 

 Colorado? 

 I can go see the mountains without seeing Buffaloes, Cobby. Please.... .Hippies?????? (makes finger in mouth motion, gagging)

  Well, what about Missouri? They're doing better. 

 Maybe they could call me after they win a championship in something..... I had the best. The BEST. And you're expecting me to drop my standards and just accept whatever happens to come along. Has my beauty faded so much? You really know how to make a girl feel good.

  Sorry.... you're right, you've got a point. How 'bout we just agree that you don't fall all over yourself whenever Oklahoma comes around.....  okay? 

 Okay. 

Hey! Nebraska, sweetheart! How you doing!

(cooing) Bobby! Oh my God! It's so good to see you!

Oh... God, why.....

Have I ever told you about the time Carl Pelini stayed at my house? And Bo used to be on my staff.... 

On your staff????? Oh.... Bobby tell me more! Cobby, weren't you leaving? 

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