The upcoming game against San Jose State isn’t all that interesting when you look at the two teams, so instead of doing a regular preview, I sat down with our new mascot Cobby to discuss the upcoming game. (I wouldn’t consider this so much as talking to myself as I would another voice in my head. And yes, he answers back, so just go with it, eh?)

Who are we playing this week?

The San Jose State Spartans.

The Spartans!? You mean like in the movie "300"?  Will they have swords?
No, they won’t have swords, but it might make it more interesting if they did. 
They’re not any good?

No. It’s hard to get excited about this one, everything appears that it should be an old-fashioned Nebraska butt-kicking where the Huskers win 72-3. If we don’t there’s something wrong.

What’s so bad about 72-3?

Well, it’s not much of a challenge is it? Kind of like setting the PS2 to the easy level and squashing the crap out of an already bad team.

And what’s so bad about that?

(Realizing there is no winning this one) Let’s move on, shall we? San Jose State is the third largest city in California, 10th largest in the country. It’s a ways north of Los Angeles, just south of San Francisco. It’s actually not too far from Yosemite National Park. There was an old song - "Do you know the way to San Jose?" - we could look it up in iTunes if you want.

No.

Why not?

You said it’s old. Is there anything interesting about the San Jose State football team?

They run the spread.

What’s that?

It’s the offense of today, the latest fad. Michigan paid millions of dollars to get a coach who knows how it works. Teams that run it automatically have a huge advantage over those that don’t, so everyone worries about defending it and everyone wants to be running it or they appear out of fashion.

What do you think of the spread?

I think it’s just another term for margarine.

You created me so you could torture me with bad jokes? That’s really cruel.

(Thinking maybe I did create him for that purpose....) Let’s continue. San Jose State had to come from behind for their win last week. They had to score a touchdown with eight seconds left to beat UC-Davis.

Who’s UC-Davis?

Exactly. San Jose State has a fairly respectable coach, Dick Tomey. He’s fourth on the active wins category behind Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno, and Mack Brown. I’m not 100% sure if that’s because he’s really good, or just that he’s been around for a long time. Still, if you’re a head coach for a long time, you can’t be all bad.

Do they have any good players? Or what about statistics? People love those.

Well, against UC Davis, the Spartans rushed for 42 net yards, 28 of those coming from their new starting quarterback Kyle Reed, and 20 of that on one play. They threw for 231 yards, Reed after coming in the second half was 14 of 18 for 132 yards and two touchdowns and he finished with a 176 passing rating. Reed was at Cal, but transferred. Then there’s a guy named Kevin Jurovich who caught 11 balls last week, including the game winner.

On defense there’s defensive back Christopher Owens who returns this year whose 12 career interceptions are tied for second most amongst returning players this season. He picked off #13 last week. He’s a projected NFL draft pick, too.

That doesn’t sound too bad.

You can almost always make numbers sound good. The most important statistic about San Jose State is the number 15,465. That was the average attendance at their games last season. Given they have a large number of young players, it’s going to be 14-0 before they stop thinking "Sea of Red" and start thinking about playing football.

Is there anything good about this game?

  Two things I can think of. It’s a chance to see a whole bunch of young guys play for Nebraska and how they look on the field. That’s not so bad. The other thing to remember is that the previous regime would have served this plate of poop up and asked us to pretend it’s a steak dinner. At least there’s not the pretense this time around, which is rather refreshing.

It's on pay per view for $29.95, which is a lot for this kind of game.

So, if it costs too much and it’s going to be a bad game then why are you going to watch it anyway?

 
Because I can’t bare not watching it.

Did you ever stop to think you may have a dependency problem?

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