Kevin Cosgrove Destroys Nebraska

I had a dream last night that Kevin Cosgrove was the defensive coordinator for the Patriots. He was doing double duty as the DC for Nebraska and the Pats.

The Patriots were fine until they got to the Super Bowl where they were destroyed by the Indianapolis Colts. I don't remember specifics about what happened in the game other than the Colts ran the ball all over the Patriots defense and that Pats were unable to tackle anyone. After the game, Cosgrove stated that everything he did was fine, but that the Patriots failed on the field. He retired to Florida.

Unfortunately, Patriots fans didn't blame Cosgrove. They blamed Nebraska. They assembled an army of Pats fans and began advancing on Nebraska's borders. Tom Osborne issued a call for all able-bodied men who had left Nebraska to return home and defend the state. People from Nebraska kept pleading with the Patriots army to blame Cosgrove and go after him instead, but they didn't listen. They just kept advancing.

Being able-bodied and a decent shot, I of course returned home. The last thing I remember is looking out at the army of Patriots fans who were lined up across the Missouri river. They appeared as your typical mob, some of them carrying torches, some of them carrying big signs that said things like "Destroy Nebraska".


Stopping this with a deer rifle ain't going to happen.

Behind them were a couple of M-1 Abrams tanks. Seeing those tanks overwhelmed me with dread. Stopping the Patriot mob would be easy, we'd just pick them off as they crossed the river. But those tanks. Nothing we had would stop those tanks. All I could think was that  I was ready to die for my home state while that sunofabitch Kevin Cosgrove was off retired in Florida.

At that moment I was awoken by Mrs Corn Nation, getting up for her daily work-out routine. It took a few minutes for the feeling of dread to pass. I didn't tell her about the dream. I hope it doesn't happen again.

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