A Comparison of the Big XII, Big-10; whos better; whos best?

The topic of the post today sparked my creative juices about the Big XII and Big 10.  Now I totally believe the ACC is the weakest of the B.S. Championship confrences.  A supposed "super confrence" when it added Virginia Tech, Miami and Boston College from the Big East lasted for about 1 year and now we have what we have.

I'm going to do a side-by-side comparision of the Big XII and the Big 10 and we shall see who reigns supreme!

Everything I cite here comes straight from ESPN.com.  If I can't find it there, I'm going to consult old episodes of "Family Guy."  I'm going to start in the basements and work my way up.

Baylor(0-8, 3-9) - Minnesota(0-8, 1-11)
The Bears and the Golden Goofers just plain sucked this year.  Oh wait, Baylor sucks every year.  And that Minnesota coach is a nut job.
Edge-Tie.

Iowa State(2-6, 3-9) - Northwestern(3-5, 6-6)
Even Northwestern had a better season than the Corn.  Iowa State...Yeah.
Edge-Big-10.

Nebraska(2-6, 5-7) - Sparty(3-5, 7-6)
Toss up game, of course Sparty almost beat BC in their bowl game.  Depends on which Nebraska and Sparty teams shows up.
Edge-Tie.

K-Stank(3-5, 5-7) - Indiana(3-5, 7-6)
The Corn hung 73 on K-Stank.  Indiana has Lee Corso in their past as a coach.
Edge-Big XII.

sCUm(4-4, 6-7) - Purdue(3-5, 8-5)
I just plain hate sCUm.
Edge-Big-10.

Okie State(4-4, 7-6) - Iowa(4-4, 6-6)
Neither team stands out, except for the Gundy Rant!  Best YouTube clip EVER!
Edge-Big XII.

aTm(4-4, 7-6) - Penn State(4-4, 9-4)
This game actually got played and Penn State won on a last minute drive.  Who's the moron who wouldn't run Jorvorskie Lane at a tired Penn State D?  When will Joe Paterno die?
Edge-Tie.

Texas Tech(4-4, 9-4) - Wisconsin(5-3, 9-4)
I think Mike Leach would pull something out of his ass on this one.
Edge-Big XII.

TexASS(5-3, 10-3) - Michigan(6-2, 9-4)
I think TexASS would whip Michigan, just because.
Edge-Big XII.

Misery(7-1, 12-2) - Illinois (6-2, 9-4)
Lets face it.  The fighting Zookers did not belong in the Rose Bowl, or any other BCS Bowl.  Maybe the Alamo Bowl or the Sun Bowl but not the Rose Bowl.  Misery belonged in the Rose Bowl.
Edge-Big XII.

KansASS(7-1, 12-1) Oklahomo(6-2, 11-3) - Ohio State (7-1, 11-2)
Since the Big 10 can't have an even number of teams (like the name of the confrence implies) we're gonna have us a good old fashoned three-way here.  

KansASS is like that ugly hunchback sister you have that your mom and dad kept in the basement in the dark but every once in a while she would escape and scare the neighborhood children.  But she had a really sexy voice and when your buddies would call she would answer and they would be all like "dude, who is that hot chick you had over that answered the phone?" And you would be like "ummmmm thats my sister."  and they would say "you've got a sister?  Hook a homie up."  And when you introduced them to her they took off because she looked like Sloth from Goonies and you never heard from them again so you constantly had to keep making new friends.  Thats what KansASS is like.

Did anyone see the 3-foot sandwich Mangino the Hutt had under his coat during the Orange Bowl???  I heard they kicked him out of an all you can eat buffet down in Miami because all the old folks thought he was going to eat them!  The reason they wouldn't dump the Gatorade on Mangino the Hutt is because inside that particular cooler was Mangino's after game snack of 20 pounds of bacon.  

After the Misery game Mangino the Hutt got lost in Kansas City.  He stopped in a convenience store and asked the clerk "how do I get back down to 435?"  The clerk replied, "go on a diet."

The Sooners had 3 defensive starters sent home from the Fiesta Bowl.  I don't know if that would have made a difference, but West Virginia just played an inspired game.  

Ohio State got reaquainted with Bo Pelini last night.  The rest of the Big XII is scared to death.
Edge-Big XII.

There, that settles it.  The Big XII wins 6-2 with three ties over the Big-10.  Personally, I don't want anyone kicked out of the BCS but add all confrences.  And eliminate the automatic bowl tie-ins (hello Big-10/PAC-10, are you listening???  There were better matchups for USC in the Rose Bowl other than Illinois, Rose Bowl Committee.)