Big 12 Roundtable - The Mostly Amicable Preseason Version

Footballin' time must be gettin' close because you can see the collaboration happenin' everywhere. The Blogpolls are starting up and the roundtables are rolling. This one is the first inaugural (at least for me) Big 12 roundtable, being sponsored by Matt at Crimson and Cream Machine.
There are gobs of Big 12 bloggers participatin'.  Clone Chronicles, MidWest Coast Bias, Bring on the Cats, Rock Chalk Talk,  and the aforementioned Crimson and Cream Machine, to name a few that have posted already.

Enough of an intro, on to the questions!

Pick a team (other than the one you blog about) from the north and south divisions and explain why they may be the best team in the division.

In the North, Colorado is the best at sucking. They finished 2-10 last season, got beat by a Division IAA team that then lost to a Division II team.  Things aren’t likely to improve much this season, although they’ll win more than two games.
The liberal influence around Boulder tends to suck the brains out of coaches who go there. They care a lot more about losing but find themselves unable to do much about it. Instead of practicing football, they go paintballing. Then they visualize themselves playing well. Then they lose again. It's too bad, really, because I like Dan Hawkins.

It’s sad that Colorado sucks this much. They’re supposed to be our rival. It’s no fun pummeling them when they suck. It’s much more fun pummeling them when they’re good. I don't think they care much either way. Too bad they don't have glaciers they that they could stand on in the nude, it would help them pass the time while saying something about the environment.

In the South, Texas A&M is the best at traditions. They have something like three hundred of them (that we know about) and they control every aspect of life in College Station. There are so many I wonder what happens to people when they go there. Are their lives so regimented there’s a secret tradition about breakfast on Wednesday? What if you accidentally kiss your girl at the game when the other team scores? (I don't want to know.)

Oh, hell, with regards to football, Oklahoma will win the Big 12 because long ago they all sold their football souls to the devil. So they don't have a quarterback. Their version of "Little Nicky" will just turn one of their other guys into a quarterback.  I don’t understand how people haven’t picked up on that. How else could they continue to be so good? Clearly some evil juju happening in Norman.

If the Big 12 Conference had a Heisman trophy candidate who would it be and why?

It isn’t Colt McCoy. Name a sophomore who’s won the Heisman Trophy. Ron Powlus doesn’t count. Maybe if you had a fantasy Heisman Trophy, Colt McCoy would be at the top of the Big 12 candidates.

So, the best choice is - Sam Keller, quarterback, Nebraska. He has a good offensive line in front of him. He has a lot of depth and quality at the receiver position, and he’s already shown that he can put up some darned good numbers. He’s a senior, and seniors can win the Heisman trophy!

He’s from a school that has a history of Heisman trophy winners. Heisman Pundit, a guy that knows a thing or two about the Heisman has already labeled Keller as a potential. Besides that, Keller is a styling guy, doesn’t he look like he should be holding the Heisman?

If you had to place a $100.00 bet on a current Big 12 head coach being fired at the end of the season who would you pick and why?

I did an article earlier in the season entitled Big 12 Coaches Most Likely To Be Fired in which I stated that Gary Pinkel is the most likely to go. Unfortunately, people in Missouri don’t care all that much about football, so someone else will probably go first.

Mark Mangino or Guy Morriss. Kansas has an easier schedule and Baylor just simply cannot accept the fact that they’re going to suck forever in football, so they’ll probably fire Morriss. $100 bucks on Morriss being gone.  It’ll be seen by most people as a sign of mercy.

The one non-conference game, not involving your school, you would pay money to see would be?

Ha! You did say non-conference game, but you failed to specify as to whether or not it would be a Big 12 game! I’d like to see Michigan versus Ohio State at some point in my life. Okay, it is the Big 12 Roundtable.

I’d like to see Oklahoma State at Georgia. I want to see the Cowboys sling and slash their way through a SEC team whose fans cannot admit they are not a national power. Bobby Reid, running. Bobby throwing, Adarius Bowman catching. Georgia will go up by at least two touchdowns early, and the Cowboys will come right back and beat them. Bulldawg fans will become convinced they have to get a different coach.

I don’t have anything against Georgia, except that they stole their logo from the Packers.

Which of the four Big 12 schools currently ranked in the AP Top 25 doesn’t belong there?

Missouri. Oh, wait, they’re not. What the hell are you talking about, then? Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska and Texas A&M all belong in the Top 25. People are ranking Hawaii, for crying out loud, including me. You don’t think Texas A&M could beat the crap out of Hawaii?  Hey, maybe you give out your home address and the Corps can show up at your door.

Make a case for one of the 8 Big 12 schools not ranked as to why they should be.

Missouri should be ranked so that we can all enjoy it more when we beat them early in conference play and knock them out of the Top 25. Then we’d see this around Mizzoura:

Prediction Time: Tell us the offensive and defensive players who are going to make the biggest impact on the conference this season.

Offensive:
Colt McCoy because Texas is dependent upon Colt McCoy continuing to show the brilliance he was most of last season. I believe this will have a negative impact on Texas, as I question their offensive line’s ability to keep him healthy for the entire season.
Defensive:
Homer time! Ndamukong Suh, nose tackle for Nebraska. It’s a fair bet that Nebraska will play a lot of 3-4 this season due to our awesome linebacking depth, experience and skillage. The nose tackle’s job in the 3-4 is to keep blockers from getting to the linebackers as opposed to playing gaps and making gobs of tackles in the 4-3, so Suh may not have the stats that make people go "oooeeee!" but he will be a force. Probably won't get a lot of press because people won't know how to properly pronounce his name.

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