Search 2007: 10 Reasons Why Bo Pelini Won't Get the Nebraska Job

by corn blight on Nov 27, 2007 8:19 AM CST in Football Comment 5 comments

Planes are coming and going with executive search firms involved, some guy on the "Husker Nation" Face Book group says he heard that Pelini has put a down payment on a house in Lincoln, our resident Corn Nation psychic says the tea leaves are showing Navy coach Paul Johnson as the next Nebraska coach, and the Husker players are having a team meeting tomorrow.

Ah, the suspense is killing all of us, isn’t it? There’s those that want Pelini, those that want Gill, each side setting themselves up for disappointment when their guy isn’t the one.

I’ll be shocked if Bo Pelini is named Nebraska’s next head coach, even though his name is all over the place. Why? Pelini doesn’t interview well. Exclusively on CN we’ve received some feedback from his interview and some information from the search firm as to why Pelini won’t get the job.

Name rhymes with ‘weenie’, ‘genie’, ‘teeny’, ‘meany’, and "Halloweeny". too many negatives to pass search firm’s "Negative Nickname" test.

Personality type ENTP conflicts with Osborne’s ISTJ, requiring ISTP or ESFJ personality types to offset conflicts. None of Pelini’s potential assistants has these traits. When asked his response was "Yeah, so?"

Wanted a "30 day money back guarantee" clause on contract in case he didn’t like current set of Husker players.

When Bill Snyder’s name came up, Pelini asked if "that asshole still comes to the games in Lincoln".

When asked about his "LSU Rules" tattoo on his forearm, he stated he’d get another one with a Huskers logo and the Skull and Bones - "that’s why God gave us two arms".

Listed "kidnapping" when asked about recruiting techniques and methodology.

Talked a good game and was heavily favored, but wasn’t the one that made it out of the cage during the "Candidate Death Match" conducted by Parker Executive Search firm.

Pinched Tom Osborne under the arm during arm wrestling session instead of playing it straight up.

Answer that his offense would be "Whatever kicks ass and scores points" was not what the interviewers were looking for.

Accidentally referred to Nebraska Chancellor Harvey Perlman as "Harvey Girlman"

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Effin'

hilarious you effin' hillbilly!

"5. Listed "kidnapping" when asked about recruiting techniques and methodology."

PURE COMEDY GOLD!!!

//throatslash\

WE WANT BO! WE WANT BO! WE WANT BO! WE WANT BO!

by 96operator on Nov 27, 2007 1:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

But still

the simple fact that he WOULD look like a total badass with that handlebar moustache and he enjoys the music of conga master Poncho Sanchez makes him a shoe-in for the coaching spot.

by 96operator on Nov 27, 2007 2:54 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Pelini Not Interview Well?

I beg to differ:

BO P(at interview): "So'z ya'z NOT a gonna make'a me ya coach ah ya'z?! How'za 'bout my brotha Vinni here breaks botha ya legs for ya'z--ya gotta problem wi'h dat?!"

(He 'takes what he wants'...)

--'za blang thang-- --"don't TAZE me, bro"--

by Ze Robertinho on Nov 27, 2007 5:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

It is being reported

on BigHuskerFan.com that Bo Pelini will be named HC tomorrow. No time for a PC has been announced yet. Dont know how accurate this is but it is being leaked on that board. Haven't been on the board for very long but everyone seems to be buying what the poster is selling and saying that he has contacts at the U and has good inside information. Guess we will see tomorrow.

by taflorom on Nov 27, 2007 11:50 PM CST reply actions 0 recs