An open letter to ABC, FSN, et al.

I have a few suggestions for TV coverage of Nebraska football. Just a few - I promise.

For its size and location, Nebraska is a supremely interesting state populated by dynamic and engaging personalities.  I'll grant that ethnic diversity is not the state's trademark, but you TV folks should know better than to reinforce some of the negative perceptions of Nebraska and the Midwest.

With that said, I offer the following recommendations for presenting Nebraska football games on television:

1. Owning a skybox does not make Larry the Cable Guy the official celeberity spokesman for Nebraska athletics. I find him to be an unfunny, unintelligent man-child who does little more than make anyone who'll listen to him dumber for having done so. However, I understand that his humor appeals to a certain sensibility. That does not mean he should be placed behind a microphone whenever the Huskers are on the field. I know that you feel the need to add star power to sports telecasts. I understand the urge to show Matthew McConaughey's mug during every Texas game. He's a lifelong fan; that's okay. I understand why you would show Will Ferrell at practice during USC telecasts. But can't you find someone, ANYONE interesting with stronger ties to Nebraska than 'he lived here until he was 14, then moved to Florida'?  Doesn't Warren Buffett own a skybox? Or Tom Osborne? Or John Beasley? Or Dana Altman? Or Chip Davis? Or Walter Scott? Or the Kiewit family? Or that chick on CSI who's from North Bend? Just, please, no more Larry. It's embarassing.
2. Please resist the urge to use the yahoo wearing overalls with no shirt or the old folks wearing the foam corn-heads as the fade-in after commercials. There are 80+ thousand other people in the stands; you're obviously these people out. We have some lovely cheerleaders who I'm sure wouldn't mind being on camera for a few seconds. The student section is plenty rowdy and the band always looks good in its uniforms. Also, there are THOUSANDS of other people who follow the cardinal rule: "Wear Red. Be Loud." Couldn't you show any of them instead of the idiot trying to make himself look like a hick?
3. No more Dan Fouts.  EVER!!
4. Could you maybe use a shot of the "All-Americans" signs on the east stadium. Or maybe just mention the school's outstanding record of academic achievement by its athletes?  I'm not an alum, so I have no real interest here (all the real smart athletes go to Creighton anyway - we all know that). It would just be nice to know that the school's athletic success has been matched by classroom success. This would at least balance out the Larry the Cable Guy interview.
5. Don't show the Lincoln skyline. That really doesn't impress anybody.
6. Finally, to Brent Musburger: One good play does not make the player that made it the greatest of all time. A strong offensive drive does not mean the defense that surrendered it is clearly overmatched. There are highs-and-lows, ebbs-and-flows to every game and season. So maybe you tone down the superlatives just a tiny bit?  Thanks.

Nebraska: 30
Texas: 21